Finding the Light
by MrsManninq
Summary: I should've been there for them, I could've done more! These thoughts haunt Josh every day after he lost his sisters, even with all his friends being there for him is it enough to stop the terrible ideas manifesting in his mind. Will he get lost in his darkness or will he find the light? (Future Explicitness) [SamXJosh] [AshleyXChris]
1. Chapter 1

**JOSH POV**

 _Most people don't know how to ask for help. I'm one of those people, it's bad enough that I get the poor guy look people always ask me, how are you doing? How do you even answer that questions anymore with a huge chunk of my life just…gone._ I rub my eyes with my hand and lean back in my computer chair editing some old footage of a prank Mike and I had pulled. I notice the beginning of a headache coming on, I try to refocus on the screen but it's becoming more difficult as it suddenly seems too bright. I save and close out the window as I try to get my bearings. I stare at the black screen with a handful of icons it's almost as if the icons seem as if they're shaking. I blink quickly a few times trying to adjust my focus. I can faintly see the outline of the photo that use to be on my desktop, it was a picture of the gang altogether. After coming back from the mountain it took week's heck even months for me to even be able to get on the computer, every time I would see it, it would trigger an episode. I spin around in my chair as I felt a presence behind me, but see nothing there. "Joshua it's time" I stood up and started looking around, "no no not now" the headache that started to build feels like it burst and is flooding all over my mind. _I CAN'T DO THIS!_ My thoughts involuntarily drift to Hannah and Beth; raw emotions start to flood my mind, _I was supposed to be there for them, protecting them_. "But you weren't" I turn and look at my chair behind me as I just heard someone. I clutch my head as I can feel it throbbing almost painfully. It's starting again I try to fight it I can feel my heart starting to race, _Breath…inhale….exhale_ I try to do a breathing exercise but it has little effect. I go to lie in my bed hoping that I can just sleep it off but by the time I did, I felt it….

"Hello Mr. Washington, it's been quite awhile since I've seen you last. You see _Time is what we want most, but what we use worst."_ I open my eyes and see Dr. Hill seated in his chair flippantly. He stands and walks behind his chair and leans on it and says "Your face is troubling, is there a problem?" I could do nothing as I am paralyzed in my own hallucination, it feels so real. I shut my eyes tightly, _NO THIS IS NOT REAL I AM LYING IN MY BED SLEEPING THIS IS JUST A DREAM_. I open my eyes and look up he changed positions, now sitting on the edge of the desk. He places a photo on the table face down. "Now let's see… How are we feeling today?" He sees me look at the photo wondering what it could be "In due time Joshua. Now I can see it on your face that you are not well, something is troubling you" my gaze falls to the floor. "It must be love issues?" …. "Not love issues? Friends? Oh wait I got it!" He leans forward and says "This is about the twins, isn't it?" I look him in his face but my gaze quickly drops back to the floor in shame. Almost as if I still can't face it mentally, I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. "Joshua" he shakes his head and gets off the table and starts walking toward the window. "It's not your fault, it was all your friends who played that prank on Hannah, and Beth being a good sister went after her" I glance at the picture again and my mind is starting to wonder. I look up and Dr. Hill is standing directly in front of me with a psychotic grin on his face, and asked "Why didn't you wake up?" I must've made a confused look because he asked me again slowly. He lifts the picture and shows me.

It's a picture of me laying on the kitchen counter passed out drunk, the picture starts to move and I see Beth shaking me to wake me up "JOSH"…"JOSH".."FUCK", to no avail and runs after Hannah. I look at it in disbelief it keeps playing over and over on a loop I can feel myself start crying but I can't look away. _It's all my fault she tried to wake me up but I didn't budge and she had to run out alone in the storm._ "Watching that footage now, tell me Joshua how does that make you feel?" To be honest I really don't want to answer but he persists the question over and over. How do I feel? Do I even feel anything anymore? He suddenly changes his question and it catches my ear "If you were to see Hannah and Beth now for a moment what would you say." To be honest I think for these few months I've asked myself that question every day. "Now…that you are gone….I only wish I can turn back time and change our story….because I know it's all my fault…and I don't blame my faults on other people" He looks intrigued that I'm now able to respond, he nods and smiles "So you don't blame any of your friends? That if they had never antagonized Hannah she would've never run out upset and would still be with you today" I decline to answer, I just continue looking at the ground hoping that this will end soon. But it doesn't he keeps poking and prodding with each question, each one felt like it was digging into an open wound. I start to hear knocking and look up and see Dr. Hill look at his watch "it seems like our session is over for now."

I jolt up and I realize I'm soaked from sweating so much, I glance outside and see that it's dark and notice my parents cars aren't in the driveway yet. I start to hear the faint knocking again and stand and walk out my room and realize it's the front door; I walk over slowly as my head is still fuzzy from my headache. "Come on Josh I know you're in there. OPEN UP" I smile inside, _it's harder now a day's for me to bring it to the surface._ I open up the door, Chris is standing in the doorway turning telling Sam to hurry up, and Sam is walking up behind him smiling. I can feel my shirt clinging to my chest and start to feel self conscious. _I should've showered or changed clothes at least_.

Chris starts to walk in the house and says "What's up Josh?" with his arms wide looking like he was going to hug me and then puts his arms down suddenly with a confused look. I asked "what?" and he says "Why are you all wet?" as he pokes my shirt as if testing how moist it is. I try to brush it off as nothing "I was sweating because I was just working out" I flex to show off my muscles _even though I'm lying_. Sam walks in and says "Don't hurt yourself now" she says sarcastically while walking in the house. I close the door behind her and I start to shiver slightly as the cold air mixing with my wet shirt, starts to get to me. After taking off their jackets Chris immediately starts walking toward the kitchen and Sam places her bag down and follows, I start to head toward the stairs and Sam asks "Where you going?" I grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it forward so it's not clinging to my skin "Well as much as I know you guys love seeing my shirt cling to me, I must shower and change" Sam makes her classic Hardy Har face and says "Ok we'll be down here waiting" as she continues on her way to the kitchen.

 **SAM POV**

Walking through the house I can see all the family pictures on the walls, and start to feel sentimental. _Keep it together Sam you're here to help Josh get through this, not fall apart yourself._ I see Chris is in the middle of creating a concoction of a sandwich; I snicker and ask "What is that?" Chris grabs the sandwich and holds it up and a few different color sauces start to drip from the edges and I wince at the thought of what the combination of flavors might be. "It is my greatest master piece" and holds it up in the air as if he can hear the angelic music playing because of its sheer existence. He looks behind me and asks "Where'd Josh go?" I pointed up and said "He went upstairs to shower" he nodded his head as he took a big bite out of his sandwich. I grimace as the sides of his face start to get stained with yellow and white and green? _UGH disgusting_. I walk over to toward the living room, I had a thought maybe we can watch a movie together. It's practically impossible to get josh out the house anymore, so I think it's fun if we find some cool stuff to do together in the house. I look through the movie collection, and you can definitely tell which ones are his favorites. I'm not really into horror movies but if it will make Josh happy I'll watch it. I start to go through a variety of them and pick a few I find somewhat interesting, I'll have Josh choose one when he comes down.

Chris finishes up his sandwich and comes out to the living room and starts to add to the pile I created. We both jump as we hear a thud come from upstairs; we look at each other with concern. I immediately start walking toward the stairs to make sure Josh is okay, "Josh?" I say looking down both sides of the hallway once I was at the top of the stairs; I walk over toward the bathroom and go to knock on the door when it flies open. I froze Josh stood in the doorway towel wrapped around his waist and he's gripping his head in pain. Looking at him, you can immediately tell he's lost some weight, but right now that's the least of my concern. "Oh my- Josh are you okay?" I grab his free arm and lead him to his room as he protests and have him sit in his chair, "Sam I'm fine really" he tries to push me away. I give him a stern look "Josh Tell me what happened did you slip getting out the shower or something?" I'm trying to look at his head but his hand is still covering it. He continues to try to brush it off "It's nothing really" I narrow my eyes at him and simply say "Joshua" and he slowly moves his hand and blood starts to drip from the cut on his head onto the towel and I can see a small lump has already formed from the impact from some sort of fall. "Josh what the hell!" I run out the room before he can respond and go to the water closet and grab a wash cloth and wet it with some cold water from the bathroom. By looking around I can see some specks of blood on the floor near the toilet, _I don't see a lot of water on the floor so he couldn't have slipped._ I rush back to the room and he's up pulling on some sweat pants and he sits back in the chair with the blood now dripping down the side of his head. I walk over and wipe the side of his head till it's clean and have him put pressure on it with the cold wash cloth to help with the swelling till we can get some ice. But first "What happened Josh?" He looks down at the ground and doesn't answer right away, but I don't want to be too persistent, but I make the concern apparent on my face. He looks at me and he looks like he's going to say something but nothing comes out but a sigh. He gets up and walks over to his dresser to grab a shirt still holding the cloth to his head and said "I just slipped on some water, nothing to go bat shit crazy over" he says simply. I go over to him and place my hand on his that's on his dresser, "Josh… I-"

"Is everything okay in here?" Chris says poking his head in the room he sees Josh holding the cloth to his head and he looks concerned "What happened?" I turn to him so he can answer and he repeats the story of him slipping on water which I don't buy but I can't force him to tell me if he's not ready. He insists on that he will be fine, he grabs a shirt and tosses it over his shoulder and we all head downstairs together. "Well I picked a movie for us to watch" Chris says tossing himself on the lounger and popping the recliner up to get comfortable. I grab my bag from by the door and head to the kitchen with Josh, he starts rummaging through the kitchen drawers looking for a first aid kit. "I brought popcorn!" I say taking the package out of my bag; Josh fakes a smile and continues looking quietly. I ignore it for now and start the popcorn in the microwave. Once I notice he finds the kit I grab it from him and motion for him to have a seat, surprisingly he does without a snarky remark or any sign of resisting. _Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing just yet._ I grab some square gauze and some tape, when he moves the wash cloth I can tell the bleeding slowed which is a good sign but that knot on his head is definitely going to be a bruise tomorrow. As I'm prepping a few pieces of tape on the side of the table, without looking at him I ask "So….what really happened?" he pauses for a moment but says "I already told you" I place the gauze on his wound and he winces slightly. I start to tape around the square making sure that it's secure but not trying to hurt him any further "Josh I've known you long enough to know when you're lying. But I'm going to let it slide for now, since you obviously don't want to tell me the truth. Just know that when you're ready I'm here for you" He looks up at me and grabs my wrist as I finished, which made my heart feel like it skipped a beat, he looks up at me with those green eyes "Thanks, Sammy…for everything". I felt like the wind was knocked out me for some reason he always has this affect on me, I don't know what it is.

We stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime but couldn't have been more than a minute as we were snapped back to reality when *BEEP BEEP BEEP* the smell of popcorn filled the air. Chris walks in toward the microwave to take the popcorn out "What's taking you guys so long?" I take a couple steps away from Josh since I was really close for no reason since I was done patching him up. "Dammit man put on your shirt, your making me jealous" Chris says shunning his eyes as if Josh was blinding him. Josh grins and he grabs his shirt off his shoulder and stands and puts it on as he's walking toward the living room with Chris asking which movie he picked. "Chris that was my popcorn!" I yell walking behind them, he takes a handful and stuffs it in his mouth and hands me the rest of the bag. "Oh gee thanks" He tosses himself on the recliner where he has the movie pulled up paused since he was waiting for us. Josh sits in the middle of the couch and I sat on the right side of the couch next to him eating my popcorn, "so what are we watching?" and Chris holds up a movie case that's mostly white and it says _The Last Winter_. I knew it was going to be some sort of horror movie; this is going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – Just so everyone knows _The Last Winter_ is a real movie it was in 2006 and has Larry Fessenden aka Flamethrower guy in it and apparently also has Wendigo's. Just thought I would let you guys understand the reference.

 **Chris POV**

I feel my phone vibrate just when the movie is just about done, I look over and Sam is passed out curled up in a ball against the arm of the couch and Josh is still up pointing out things that could've made the movie even better or saying some ideas that he is getting just watching it. _He could definitely be a horror movie director one day if he puts his mind to it._ I make comments here and there about things I notice but when I glance down at my phone I notice Ashley text me.

 _Ashley: Are you up?_

To be honest I'm surprised that she is even up, she is just like Sam to pass out early. I look over at Josh and he's still into the movie I lower my phone so it's flush with the arm of the chair to reply.

 _Chris: Yeah what's up?_

 _Ashley: Were you sleeping? I'm sorry if I woke you. I just can't sleep…_

 _Chris: I was up already. What's wrong?_

 _Ashley: I've just been feeling horrible, I feel like I'm a horrible friend._

I try not to change my facial expression much in case Josh is looking I don't want to trigger anything since he seems to be having a good night so far.

 _Chris: No Ash, you're a great friend loving, caring, and funny. Heck you're the first person I go to when I need someone to talk to._

 _Ashley: Thanks Chris._ :) _Wait a second how come you aren't in bed it's like almost 1 in the morning._

 _Chris: I'm with Josh and Sam watching a movie. Technically just Josh since Sam fell asleep. ZZZ_

"Who are you texting?" Josh says looking over at me. _Busted_. I put my phone down and look toward the TV with my poker face, "My mom was just asking me if I was coming home" I say smoothly. He scoffs and says "Oh I thought you only text Ashley with that goofy smile, my mistake" he refocuses back to the movie. "What? Shut up!" I say throwing a pillow from the chair at him; he puts his arm up to block and it falls on the ground he starts laughing as he gets up. "Like I said man my mistake" he says with his hands up as if he's surrendering. I feel my phone vibrate and I glance at it.

 _Ashley: Well tell Josh I said Hi! Are we still on for tomorrow?_

"See there it is!" Josh says pointing his finger at me, I look up at him confused looking down at myself like something is there. "What are you talking about?" he looks at me and leans to pinch my cheek but I lean back in the recliner to get away. "The goofy smile was just there again! Texting your mom MY ASS. Your texting Ashley!" he says in a harsh whisper, grabbing a blanket from nearby and draping it over Sam.

"So what? ...But anyway she said Hi" I say pulling my phone out to reply to her. "But that does not mean I make whatever goofy smile it is that you're talking about". He giggles and waves as he sits back down to finish up the movie, shaking his head. _He knows I can't fool him, he knows me too well._

 _Chris: Of course._

 _Ashley: Can't wait, ask if Sam and Josh want to come!_

 _Chris: I'll ask…_

I'm not sure Josh is going to want to go, lately I've been asking him to go places and do things and usually it's some excuse as to why he can't. When we all know he just isn't ready to face the world, and who am I to force him. Right? Or is it I'm supposed to force him and be there every step of the way. Being a friend is filled with so many decisions. But I guess it doesn't hurt to try… or wait I have a better idea.

"Are you staying the night?" Josh says looking over at me, I turn toward the TV and didn't even realize the credits already rolling. I look at the time "Yeah I'm probably going to crash too; do you have some shorts for me to change into?" He nods his head and motions for me to follow him, I get up and head for the stairs. He asks "So what's going on between you and Ashley?" I quickly respond "We're friends what do you mean?" he turns his head and glances over his shoulder with the _do you think I'm stupid look._ There is very little that Josh doesn't know about me so I break. "Nothing I mean… we talk… but not like that. Just as friends talk." He opens his door and says "You think you got friend zoned?" I scoff acting like I don't care "Not like it matters she doesn't see me that way" he shakes his head as he digs into his drawer and says "Look man, if you want to do it right it takes time, I completely get that. But keep in mind if you let too much time go by you may lose her" he tosses me a pair of shorts and I catch them "Thanks man", he grabs a couple of his pillows and blanket and head downstairs. I head toward the bathroom to change, I walk in and I can see some of the blood from earlier from when Josh must've slipped. I quickly change, use the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and decide to wash my face; I look like toddler who fed themselves for the first time. I open the medicine cabinet to find some facial soap, I see a lot of pink and microbeads black head washes? Those must've been Hannah and Beth's I squeeze one of them in my hand and start to wash my face, I still had some residue from my amazingly good sandwich earlier.

I finish up I go to put the cleanser bottle back once I was done and feeling refreshed and noticed an almost empty pill bottle, the only reason it caught my eye was because of the date of refill 02/28, that was a couple months ago and it still has some pills in it. I wonder what _risperidone_ _is,_ I didn't think anything of it till I saw _Josh Washington_ on it.

 **JOSH POV**

I walk downstairs and see Sam curled up against the arm of the couch sleeping soundly, _if she stays like that her back and neck is going to be killing her tomorrow._ I go over and start to take all the cushions off the couch other than the ones that are around Sam, put them off to the side along with the pillows and blanket I brought down on the recliner for Chris. I move the coffee table out the way, then go around and walk over to Sam and nudge her shoulder gently until her eyes peeked open. She doesn't say anything since she still is in sleep zombie mode. I tell her "Let me pull out the sofa bed for you" she nods and gets up shakily and slowly, _now she really looks like a zombie._ She sits on the arm of the sofa while I quickly pull it out and throw a pillow on her side with a blanket. She's sitting on the arm of the sofa with her eyes closed still, _she seems really tired_. I touch her arm gently to let her know I was done, she open and looked over and turned to walk over to the bed. I start walking toward the stairs "Alright well I'll see you-" "Josh?" I turn my head and see her sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing her eyes, for some reason I didn't respond I just waited. She looked up to see if I was still there and said "um…would you? Never mind" she said turning to put her legs on the bed and dismiss whatever idea she had, I walk over to her unsure, she's not being her usual … Sam self "Is something wrong?" she looked down nervously. _This is really unlike her._ She looks up almost saddened "Can you…lay with me till I fall asleep?" _Good thing the lights are off, I felt my face get warm with a blush. I don't get it, she's been sleeping over for years and she's never asked me to lay with her. But I feel kind of weird to ask her why, since I'm pretty sure I already know the reason why. It's the same reason I lay awake every night; Hannah and Beth on the mind._ Without saying a word I walk over to the other side of the bed and grab a pillow and lay on the bed facing the ceiling. My heart starts to race slightly I haven't laid with a girl in a long time, and it's almost invigorating even with about 2 feet between us. She gets under the blanket and lays down facing me and says "Thank you" quietly. I nod my head "No problem, just keep your hands to yourself" I say turning to face her in a playful voice, even in the dark I can imagine the face she made. But instead she turns over away from and says "I'll try, no promises" it sounded half serious half laced with sarcasm, I can never tell with her. I brush it off as playful banter "Night Sam". I start to hear Chris coming down the stairs, he's on his phone since I can see the glow of the phone on his face. _He must be texting Ashley still._ He walks over to the recliner and slides in, he looks over at me and Sam with a slightly confused look, but doesn't say anything and rolls over.

I turn and stare at the ceiling waiting for Sam to fall asleep so I can go upstairs to my bed. I'm not in any rush being upstairs alone in my room though. But I do try to occupy my mind, I try doing a few exercises that I learned from therapy. Thinking of happy memories and such, but it was so hard to focus with the woman lying next to me. I couldn't focus, every memory that was coming to mind had her in them. Moments I'd never gave a second thought to, till now. When we would all go out together and all the petty disputes we would have, but laugh them off. I smile to myself, I mean I've always had a crush on Sam but she is too good for me, I know that. To be honest I don't think I'd never act on it in a million years, she deserves better than me.

I turn facing her, I can't help it when I'm next to her I just want to be closer. But I decide against it, I can see the silhouette of her curves through the thin blanket draped around her, the dip near her waist. My mouth starts to water and I can feel my member twitch in response _I need to get out of here_ , but I don't move, I stay because I want to be near her. I turn around and face the other way, I can't look at her anymore or I really might have to go upstairs. I yawn and just start counting hoping that would help ease my mind enough to go to sleep. But my mind keeps drifting to her and my erection starts to become painful. I get up slowly trying not to wake Sam or Chris and head in the kitchen to get something to drink, I did feel parched. I walk over to the fridge and open it, grabbed the water and drank it straight out the jug, parents are never here to care anyway. They took so much time off work when Hannah and Beth went missing; now that they're back working they had so much to catch up on they're never here. Not that they were around much before but now it's almost like I'm here alone all the time. Other than when Sam and Chris come to visit, don't get me wrong the others come by every once in a while but they're in relationships so when they do come its short or rare.

I took a few gulps and just sat at the table with it for a while, thinking, I would say nothing in particular but then I would be lying. I was thinking of my sisters and how they would have slumber parties with their friends; I would invite the guys. We would go out in the backyard and play drinking games and take a dip in the hot tub and just be care free. I started daydreaming as if I was still in that moment, smelling the fruity drinks they would be mixing and the smell of a summer day outside, I swear I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply and it felt like I was really there.

I hadn't realized how long I sat there, but it must've been long enough that my lack of presence went noticed. I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't move or say anything, just sat in silence wiping my face. _I didn't even realize I was crying._ I felt someone next to me but I didn't look over I just stared straight ahead and drank some more water. But she must've noticed the tear stains on my cheek, and before I could protest I can feel her hug me from behind. So warm and inviting I lean into it and place my arm on hers that are wrapped around my torso. I hear her mumble "I miss them too" my hear flutters and sinks at the same time. She removes her arms and I turn to face her and see her tear stained face as well. _Is it horrible to say even when she is sad she is beautiful?_ I stand and she looks up at me and just hugs me again, this time I can hug her back properly. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her gently; being this close to her is all I want and it's everything I imagined. Her skin is so smooth and soft and she smells so good, I melt into her embrace. I can feel her squeeze me a bit tighter. She let go and pulled back wiping her eyes from more tears that were threatening to fall and apologized. "I'm sorry Josh, I'm supposed to be strong for you. I didn't mean to bother you it's just that-" I leaned in and hugged her this time, not because I needed it but because _she did_. I've been so wrapped up in how I feel and trying to hide my pain from my friends, I didn't stop to think that they may be feeling the same pain. I leaned back from the hug but she was still right in front of me. I saw a stray tear trailing down her cheek and wiped it, she looked up at me in response, and she looked like she was holding her breath. I thought about kissing her right then and there…but decided against it, I don't want to take advantage of her being vulnerable. I grab her by the hand silently and lead her back to the living room toward the bed, she gets in her side and I get on the other. This time the 2 feet of space that we had between us before turned into about 6 inches if that. She laid near the middle, she had her back facing me and I was facing her back. I whispered "Night" and as soon as I was about to close my eyes, she reached for my hand wrapped it around her waist to hold her and said "Thank you". I think for the first time in my life I fell asleep smiling, _on the outside_.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! I'm trying to update every few days or at the very least once a week. So if you do enjoy it so far and would like to read more, follow the story so you can be updated on when I upload a new chapter.

 **Josh POV**

 _You know sometimes when you go to sleep at night, you don't dream. It could be a good or bad thing depending on who you are, and if you do actually enjoy dreaming. For me not having a dream every once in a while, is like having a break from hell. Especially when I can't tell the difference between dreaming and hallucinating anymore._

I continued to lay in the bed, I didn't want the bliss of this to end. I can feel the warmth of Sam's body behind me, which is another reason I feel glued to the bed I want to be close to her. Her smell is intoxicating right now, just to be the close to her is everything to me right now. I can feel my member up with the sun as per usual. I feel Sam starting to stir¸ _maybe she's waking up._ I inwardly sigh but freeze when I feel her move closer to me. I can feel her chest against my back and her body literally up against mine. I feel myself growing bigger, almost painfully since it's been months since I've released. I try to hold my groan but it still resonates in my throat. I'm screaming inside my mind if I move she might wake up and see _it_ , and could be completely disgusted. Then that would be my first and last time laying with her.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I started to feel her tracing small circles on my hip where my sweat pants had lowered from tossing and turning last night. I try to control myself, I squeeze my eyes shut and I'm trying to think of something else. _Old people, dead puppies, trash -_ I hiss as I feel her hand slide just under the rim of my pants and rub along the indent it left on my skin, it caused me to shiver. _What is she doing?_ I wanted to turn around and take her right here right now, but the gentlemen in me is restraining my caveman urges. _Barely._

Her hand slides lower in my pants and I can feel her fingertips on my length and I could go right now, but I'm holding it in for dear life. _I would never hear the end of it._ She traces circles on the shaft with her fingertips and I can't help but let out a groan. She moves her hand and circles toward the top and I flinch since its really sensitive, especially right now. She grips the top gently and starts to move up and down with her soft hands. I slowly start to thrust my hips forward to match her speed, she wasn't moving fast but in fact agonizingly slow. _She must be teasing me._ I moved my hips slightly faster and surprisingly she matched my speed, moving her hands swiftly up and down. I was in heaven right now, I don't know how much longer I was going to be able to take. Then in one movement she almost ended it when she got to the top and flicked her wrist which twisted it at the top and I open my mouth to groan but I already knew it would be loud, so I opt to bite down on my lip instead and deal with it. _I don't know how much more of this I can deal with till I let it go, I don't want her to stop._ I start to feel myself swelling up in her hand, and she starts to kiss me on my neck and that was it. I grabbed her hand and turned around… _she was gone._

I was cold and alone with a raging hard on, I looked around the room and neither Sam nor Chris were anywhere in sight. I turned toward the hallway and notice there jackets were gone too. "Left without saying goodbye" I turn and see Dr. Hill sitting in the recliner as if it was his office chair with his pad and pen, he leaned forward as if waiting for me to reply in some way. I looked down at my now painful erection, I'm still so close it feels like it's stuck. He says "One of the hardest things to do in life, is letting go of what you thought was real" I suddenly start to get filled with rage, "This is all a game to you!" I yell at him, he made a shocked face "I'm insulted, it is not I who has created this game. I am merely a guide for you. I am here to help you Joshua but you seem like you do not want my help." I get up "Your right I don't, so please leave!" I get up and start walking toward the door erection and all, I can hear him snickering "you'll be back…you always come back". I turn back and yell "Shut up!" grabbing my head in frustration and he was gone.

A few seconds later Chris and Sam walk through the door with what smells like breakfast and coffee and they both look at me confused and concerned. I lower my arms and look at them and notice Sam looks down and away blushing, Chris spoke up first "You okay Josh?" he says starting to look around the room as if someone is hiding. I shake my head yes and turn and start to head upstairs still angry. I go to the bathroom and start the shower, cold only, no heat. I start grumbling to myself "who does he think he is?" and start mocking him "you always come back pshh what a load". I grabbed my toothbrush and started brushing my teeth, I spit rinsed my mouth. I opened the medicine cabinet to grab the floss and grabbed my medicine instead, popped a pill in my mouth waited for it to dissolve "we'll see about that!" I said to myself in the mirror and hopped in the shower.

 **Chris POV**

Sam and I woke up before Josh and thought we should go grab breakfast for the 3 of us. We left quietly so we wouldn't wake up Josh since he was still sleeping. Once we got the food and we were in the car heading back I told her that Mike, Emily, Ashley, Jess and I are going camping for 2 days and asked if she wanted to come. Her face lit up which I immediately knew was a good sign, "That sounds awesome! … Why does it look like there is a catch?" she looks at me crossing her arms. "Wh-what do you mean catch?" I say nervously. She gives me her classic _spill it look_. "We want to invite Josh" she looks at me waiting for the problem, and technically there isn't one. "So you see every time I ask him to do stuff he says no. So I was thinking that maybe you can ask him?" She looks out the window and asks "What makes you think he'll say yes to me?" I shrug "I was thinking maybe if a girl asked him there would be a greater chance of him saying yes rather than no" I'm inwardly crossing my fingers that she'll say yes, I really do hope he says he'll come. He needs to get out the house more, I don't even remember the last time I've seen him in natural sunlight. "So you think a woman's touch will help?" she says looking at me questioningly, "precisely". She looks back out the window not answering, "Well?" she turns back and says "Sure, I just hope he doesn't say no to me either".

We get out the car and start heading toward the house carrying the bag and coffee, when we hear Josh shouting. We look at each other and continue walking toward the house, I open the door and Josh is holding his head almost like he's in pain. He looks at us and I ask him "you okay Josh?" I started looking around maybe someone else was here. He just nodded yes and went upstairs looking pissed off, I turned to Sam who seemed to be in a state a shock. _I'll talk to him about it later._

Sam and I walk into the kitchen and layout all the food on the counter, selecting the ones we chose for ourselves and put Josh's in the microwave so it can stay warm. "Should we go check on him?" Sam said taking a sip of her coffee, "I thought about it but I think right now maybe he needs some space" I'm starting to get nervous, by the way he is acting I don't know if he's going to say yes or no. Sam starts asking questions about the camp site since we last minute started inviting more people we have to figure out the sleeping situation, since we're only allowed 2-3 tents depending on the size. She mentions she has a tent but that it may take a while to find, I feel my phone vibrate and grab it to see who it is.

 _Ashley: Good Morning! Are you ready for today?_

 _Chris: Hell Yeah. By the way how many people can your tent fit?_

 _Ashley: I have a big one that could fit about 4-5 people and a small one that can fit like 2 people if needed. I just got the big one this morning since we invited more people._

 _Chris: Look at you always prepared! Alright well Sam is in! We still waiting to ask Josh he's in the shower_

 _Ashley: Well don't wait till the last minute we have to get there early enough to set up. Oh and Em text me this morning saying she can't make it she isn't feeling well all of a sudden._

While I'm texting Ashley I feel my phone vibrate and Mike's name pop up. _I hope Mikes not bailing too!_

 _Mike: HEY MAN! What kind of liquor should I get for later? I'm so ready for this!_

 _Chris: Hmmm…Vodka. Make sure to bring juice for the ladies lol_

 _Mike: Should I bring my pong set?_

 _Chris: Hell yeah! It's on. REMATCH!_

 _Mike: You trying to take my belt?_

 _Chris: This year is my year! I'll buy some beers and coolers too for variety. Oh and Ash just told me Em isn't feeling well and she's not coming now. Is she okay?_

 _Mike: Imma call you in a few, ANSWER_

 _Chris: Okay? Sure_

I turn to Sam who is now cleaning up her breakfast and washing her hands and let her know the update on the tents and she's relieved she doesn't have to go to her scary basement to find hers. I finish up my sandwich and start sipping on my coffee, when my phone starts to ring. It's Mike, I answer it and before I can even say anything he says in a serious voice "Where are you? And who are you with?" I was caught off guard but walk into the Livingroom to reply since he sounds serious. "I'm at Josh's with Josh and Sam." He then tells me to go outside so I'm not within ear shot of anyone, "alright give me a min" I peek my head in the kitchen and let Sam know I'm going to go outside for a few minutes. As I'm walking toward the front door I see Josh coming down the stairs he looks like he is in a better mood than he did earlier. "Where you going Cochise?" he says with open arms coming down the stairs. "I'm going outside real quick I'll be right back, your breakfast is in the microwave" I said pointing toward the kitchen and I walked outside and sat in my car to talk to Mike.

 **Sam POV**

After Chris tells me he's going to go outside I text my mom quickly to let her know where I'm going to be tonight. She likes to know my every move now a days, which isn't a big deal considering what happened. I was so into my text to her I didn't even realize someone was in the room till I heard the microwave open and I jumped and gasped. "Chill out, it's just me" Josh says grabbing his breakfast smiling over me. I visibly relax "Josh you scared the shit out of me" he smiles while opening his sandwich and says "Well aren't you easy" and takes a big bite smirking. He comes around to the table and sits a couple of seats away, "soooo" I say as he takes a sip of his coffee. He looks at me and says "yes?" Suddenly I'm starting to feel nervous and losing my words. I'm trying to think how to word it and he's still waiting "spit it out woman" he says jokingly. "Well a few of us are going camping for a couple of days… and we were kind of wondering if you weren't busy… if you wanted to come too?" I look at him waiting for an answer, his face doesn't change he just takes a sip of his coffee. I'm mentally biting my nails, but I think that he really had to think about it. He stands up suddenly and says "Fuck it…sure I'm getting cabin fever being in this house anyway" I sat their shocked, _he said yes. Maybe Chris was right he did need a woman to ask him._

I got up from the chair "Alright then, I'm going to head to my place and pack my stuff!" I say excited. Before I could walk out the door Josh asked "Do you want to ride up there with me?" I guess I hadn't thought this through taking the bus up there would be annoying and plus I'm pretty sure Ash is going to be riding with Chris. Riding with Mike and Em would make me feel like a 3rd wheel. "Sure. Pick me up around 11?" he smiles and gets up to walk me to the front door. I turn to him right before he opens the door. I just had to say something, "Josh?" he doesn't respond he just looks at me "about last night, I hope I didn't make you feel weird about sleeping with me. I felt like such a child since I didn't want to sleep alone and I-" he put his hand up to stop my rambling. "Say no more Sammy, we're friends and to be honest that was the best night's sleep I've gotten in a long time. So if anything you did me the favor." I couldn't help it I leaned in and hugged him, he was tense at first since I'm sure he wasn't expecting it but then relaxed and hugged me back. This hug was different that last night, it wasn't out of sadness or comfort it was a happy hug, he and I pulled back and smiled, "I'll see you later then" he looked like he was blushing and looked down at the ground while he was opening the door and said "uh yeah… 11" I walked through the door toward Chris' car.

As I approach Chris' car he quickly gets off the phone as I'm knocking on the window, he unlocks the door and I hop in. "So did you ask him?" he says nervously, I looked at him and made an unsure face and he said "I knew it! Damn!" I started smiling and I said "he said sure, he's picking me up at 11" Chris' jaw dropped "Did you ask the right Josh? Joshua Washington?" pointing at the house. I nodded my head laughing at him I can tell by his surprise that he is indeed excited that his best friend is going to be with us. "Alright then let me get you home to pack. I already have my stuff in the back I have to go grab a few things at the store and I'm going to scoop up Ash and meet you guys there" he starts driving toward my house and I start feeling excited. It's been a while since we actually did something out as a group lately we've all been at each other's houses and that's pretty much it. I really hope Josh enjoys himself, he deserves to have fun more than any of us.

After Chris drops me off at my house which took forever since we got stuck in traffic, I go straight to my room and start packing and plug up my phone to charge. I pack about 4 outfits, my bathing suit, a couple towels, toiletries, some Tylenol in case anyone has a hangover. I also raided my pantry for some snacks, since I'm junk food kind of girl. I jump in the shower brush my teeth, get out and throw my hair up in a clip. When I go in my room and look at the time "Shit it's already 10:52" I start going through my drawers and grab some jeans shorts and a plain white deep V neck tee. I grab my socks and start lacing up my sneakers, before I put them on I hear a knock on my door. I look through the peep hole and see the back of Josh, I open the door for him "Hey, I'm almost ready I just need a few more minutes." I move to the side and motion for him to come in. I tried not to stare but _he looks good_ I mean weird to see him… out of his house. I ran upstairs and threw my toothbrush in my bag and jetted downstairs. He was walking around looking at old pictures of me, when I was younger I can hear him smiling and laughing call them _Mini Sam_. I sat on the steps next to my bag to finish putting on my sneakers and he grabs my bag. "This feels kind of light you think you got everything princess?" he says jokingly. "Oh your right I forgot my makeup bag" I say in a valley girl voice, then look at him normal and say "let's go" he opens the door and says "After you madam" I grab my jacket and curtsy and we walk toward his car laughing.

He seems to be in a much better mood, he puts my bag in the trunk along with his, as I hop in the passenger side. I text grab my phone and text Chris.

 _Sam: Hey Josh just picked me up, so we're going to be heading there soon. Are you guys there yet?_

Josh hops in the driver's seat and puts his seat belt on, and turns on the radio and starts driving. It's so hard for me to try not to stare, he actually seems… _happy_. He has his shades on humming and drumming to the songs on the radio and to see him in something other than sweat pants is a pleasant change. He almost seems like the Josh I met when Hannah first brought me over to their house. I blush in response, since I had a huge crush on him back then, and turn to look out the window so he wouldn't see it. We were in a comfortable silence, we were just driving enjoying the view, and I look down at my phone since it vibrated.

 _Chris: Yeah sorry it took so long to respond, we were having some technical difficulties with the tent. Lol! Where are you guys at?_

I look out the window and notice that I don't see many buildings anymore mostly trees and random convenience stores or gas stations every few miles. I turn to Josh and ask him how much longer, since Chris was asking. He looked down at his phone and said that his GPS says they should be there in about 30 minutes.

 _Sam: We should be there soon, About 30 minutes. Is anyone else there yet?_

 _Chris: Cool! Jess, Ash and I are already here. We're waiting on you guys and Mike._

 _Sam: Emily is not coming?_

 _Chris: Oh she said she wasn't feeling well…_

At that same moment a car pulls up next to us honking, Josh lowers his window smiling. "MIKE!" and Mike yells out his window "JOSH!? No one told me you were coming man!" Josh has a smile plastered on his face, Mike waves at me smiling "Hey Sam!" I waved back smiling, he looks at Josh and puts a thumbs up with a kissy face, and I blush and turn toward the window to ignore them. I hear Mike say he knows a short cut and to follow him. Which Josh does follow him onto a dirt road and we got there in about half the time. _Josh seems like he's having a great time so far, I hope it stays that way._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chris POV**

I look around at the camp site after I finished pitching the tents, _honestly being out here surrounded by trees and no civilization; just us and our friends does feel good. We come out here and are not prejudged by what people think about us from the news reports._ I look over and see Ash collecting wood for a fire, Jess is trying to help but is getting freaked out by all the bugs. I read Sam's text saying they're almost here, I go over to my car and take out the cooler full of drinks from my trunk. I start taking out the chairs I have for everyone and placing them up against the car. Ashley walks over "Let me give you a hand" she says as she starts grabbing the chairs and opening them around where the fire is going to be. "Thanks" I say to her as I hand her two of them, I can't help but stare at her. I know her too well, she's self-conscious and insecure, but to me she's perfect. If only it were as simple as telling her that, I can already hear Josh's voice in my head ' _if you let too much time go by, you may lose her'._

I shrug it off, Josh doesn't know what he's talking about. Who is he, to lecture me on unrequited love? When he's had a thing for Sam since Hannah first introduced them. If anything he should be taking his own advice. _Now that I think about it maybe he is, I did notice that him and Sam slept on the sofa bed together last night_... Jess came over to me and asked if there was anything else she can do, "well if you want you and Ash can pitch the canopy tent" she gives me the _why did I ask look_. But grabs the box and drags it over and her and Ash get to work. I pick up the cooler and bring it over to the table, I open up the chest full of beer and wine coolers and ice bags. I grab a beer and pop it open and take a couple swigs. I look in the trunk to see if there is anything else that needs to be taken out but it's not really much, other than extra sleeping bags and stuff for later.

I look up and see both Josh and Mike's car pull up at the same time, I look at the time 1:20PM, _damn that was fast._ They all hop out the car and Josh comes over to me grinning "You made it!" I say with arms wide to give him a hug, I keep my arm around his neck and I bring him over to the cooler. I grabbed two of the chairs and grab a beer for him to take a load off in one of the chairs. "Chris the place looks great! I'm pretty sure Ash and Jess are tired since they look like they're the only ones working around here!" he says throwing his voice over to Ash and Jess who actually look like they're struggling to put the pins in place. I notice Mike and Sam run over to give them a hand since it looks like it was about to close in on them, I snicker inwardly. He turns to me and says while opening his beer, "All jokes aside the setup is nice man, you out did yourself" he says punching me in my shoulder. "Man I'm just glad you could make it!" he looks over at them putting the pins in place and takes a swig of his beer and leans back and says "Me too". I can't hold it in anymore, "So man what's with you and Sam? I saw you guys slept together last night" he look like he almost choked "Oh that was nothing" he said looking away from me. "What do you mean? If that was me and Ash I would've been stoked." He just nodded his head, _there is obviously something he's not telling me; let me try it from a different angle._ "Well since you guys slept together last night I was hoping you guys wouldn't mind doing it again for the trip. We can only fit about 5 people in the big tent which would leave one person out. But since you and Sam clearly don't mind I thought maybe you guys can keep each other company, in the smaller one." His eyes got big looking at me jaw open to speak but no words came out, but suddenly his face relaxed with a small smile "she won't go for it" he said as he was getting up from the chair "but nice try bud" he said patting me on my head. He goes over to the rest of the group as they are finishing up with the canopy, he helps put up the netting around it to keep bugs out.

I sat there sulking since Josh didn't want to spill the beans about him and Sam. Speaking of which, I see her coming over to the cooler as she grabs one of the drinks pops it open and guzzles like half. She must've noticed my apparent sulking demeanor "Why are you over here all by your lonesome?" she says walking over. _Is it wrong if I take the opportunity since it's presenting itself? Does that make me a horrible person? A wingman? Whatever you want to call it, I'm doing it._ "I was just over here thinking" I said with a sigh, "about what?" she takes the bait and has a seat across from me. "Well the small tent was for Mike and Emily, but since Emily isn't here, I'm pretty sure Mike doesn't want to be in their alone especially considering he just got his heart broken." She listens drinking her cooler and motions for me to continue, "And I couldn't help but notice that you and Josh, you know slept together last night." Her eyes get wider as she takes a sip of her drink trying to hide her blush. "So I was thinking that if you guys wouldn't mind taking the smaller tent?" her blush darkens she looks over at him talking to the others laughing and doesn't say anything right away, I immediately think to myself _there's hope!_ So before she could rebuttal I said "I asked him already and he said he doesn't mind if you don't mind" _Josh will thank me later if this works out in his favor, or kill me if it doesn't. But I'm willing to take my chances._ She looks at me surprised "he did?" I nod my head approvingly, and she takes a moment thinking. I can see the gears turning in her head as she sat their contemplating the possible pros and cons. I cross my fingers that the pros are heavier. She says "Well…" I'm practically on the edge of my seat in anticipation, "if he doesn't mind, I don't either" I grin and say "awesome sauce! I mean cool." _Official Wingman, I deserve a trophy for this!_ Josh looks over at us smiling and we wave.

 **Josh POV**

I look over at Chris and Sam talking when I made eye contact with Chris they started waving. _Is she blushing?_ I become distracted when I heard "So Josh you seem like you are doing well!" Ashley says pushing me in my arm playfully. I rub the back of my head and shrug my shoulders "As well as I can anyway" they all look down in uncertainty, "No I'm mean I'm fine, really guys. I wouldn't be out here if I didn't feel up to it." I go to change the subject "Where's Em and Matt, they aren't going to be joining us?" Ash and Jess' face perked up but Mike looked down and started walking toward his car silently. Ashley was the first to answer "Well Matt is doing a football practice with a college that's looking into him, he's hoping to get a full scholarship for this school" I smile and bring my hands together "Go Matt!" I said in a cheerleader voice and strike a pose.

Sam comes over to join us and Chris seems like he's setting up the wood for a fire later. "I heard Em wasn't feeling well" Sam says and Ashley agrees on that's what she was told. I notice Mikes making his way back with his backpack, he scoffs when he hears everyone discussing what kind of ailments Emily may have. We turn to him and Jess says "Well Mike what's wrong with her?" He started looking through his backpack and said nonchalantly "apparently she was sick of me…" he said curtly. We all looked at him confused, he looks up at us looking conflicted, "Well you guys are going to find out one way or another… Emily broke up with me last night" The girls immediately start up with I'm sorry Mike are you okay? I pat him on the back and say "Sorry bro" he smiles and says "its fine, I'd rather not dwell on it. We're here to have fun right!" he says taking out his bottle of vodka, he walks over to the cooler and puts it on ice, I followed suit.

He grabs a beer opens it and chugs about almost half of it, "Hey man slow down we got all night" I say to Mike as he sits in the chair, he runs his hand through his hair and he looks stressed. "I know man I just don't know what I did wrong. It was just whatever I did I was just never good enough." I sat down with him and listened since it seemed that's what he needs right now, he looks at me and says "I can only be me" he takes another sip of his beer, "I don't know man, but you don't have to sit here and listen to me complain." I look at him and realize I haven't been a good friend. I've been off the radar for months trying to put the pieces of my life back together, and in doing so I've neglected the best friends a guy could ever ask for. I hold up the last of my beer up to him, he smiles and holds his beer up, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you'll want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" he laughs and clinks beers with me and we chug the last of them. He grabs my empty bottle and brings it to the make shift trash can, he turns to me and says "When in doubt movie quote it out" I get up and pat him on his shoulder "That'll do pig, that'll do" I said in a southern farmer voice. Chris walks over to us and says "Guys…we need more wood. Who wants to come with me and grab more?" I look at Mike and Chris and I raise my hand and say "I volunteer".

We head out not too deep into the forest to find wood. We go deep enough in that we could still be able to see camp, but far enough that we aren't within ear shot. After about what felt like an hour of collecting wood Chris says "Man I think your right…" picking up a section of log putting it in the pile then wipe the sweat trailing down the side of his head. I grab a one and add to his pile, I start clapping the dirt off my hands "as much as I blindly and wholeheartedly agree. Right about what now?" I said to him having no clue what he was referring to. Chris laughed "about Ashley man. I think I need to make my move." I grin at him "My man Cochise!" he puts his hands up "yeah but I don't even know where to start, I feel clueless when it comes to her for some reason", I wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand "Chris you know her better than anyone, you know what makes her smile, I'm sure you'll think of something." He smiles over at me and says "What about you?" I tilt my head "what about me?" He picks up another log and says "You and Sam?" He brushes me off "I already told you. Plus I doubt Sam even thinks of me that way." Chris looks down at the ground smiling, I lean over and start stacking the logs from the pile into my arms to carry back to camp, when I hear him say "Have you ever thought that she may feel the same" I almost dropped the damn wood on my foot. I speed walk over to him balancing the wood in my arms. "What did you do?" I said glaring at him, he smiled pointing at himself "Me? nothing just that I'm the best wingman ever" I started shaking my head no "I didn't ask for a wingman, Chris what did you do?" he looks at me with a serious look "A favor Josh, I did you a favor" I walk around in a circle exasperated, and start talking to myself, not because I'm crazy but because Chris makes me act crazy. "I knew he was up to no good, I seen it but did nothing about it! I could've prevented the whole thing but just keeping my ass home. But noooo I had to say yes!" Chris steps into the circle I was creating and has his hands up "Dude calm down, I didn't tell her" _well at least that's a relief._ "If you didn't tell her then what did you do?" I said taking a step closer to him while he took a step back. He turns and starts picking up the rest of the wood from the pile we made, "Nothing too serious" once he grabbed the remaining wood from the pile we start walking back to camp. "I just asked Sam if she wouldn't mind sharing a tent alone with you" I felt my face get hot, fuck warm because I know I was red probably burgundy. Part of me wanted to scream but we were still close enough to camp that they would hear, and the other part of me wants to kick Chris' ass. He turns and looks at me and says "Dude breathe, she said yes", my knees suddenly felt like jelly it was hard to walk back to camp.

Nerves started setting in the closer we got to camp…. _Sam and I alone in a tent for 2 days, but if she said yes does that mean, she likes me? Or maybe she doesn't want to sleep alone again…But she could've chosen to sleep in the big tent with everyone else and felt safe. But she chose to be alone with me?_ My mind is just trying to wrap my head around this right now. The closer we get to camp I start to hear her laughing, and my heart sinks and flutters simultaneously. I thought of this morning and my half dream hallucination whatever the hell it was. For a split second I thought one day it may come true but then brush it off _what am I thinking she could never see me that way._

 **Sam POV**

Ashley and I are sitting drinking some coolers chatting catching up, while Mike and Jessica put together the beer pong table. While Chris and Josh are preoccupied collecting wood "Ash can I ask you a question" she looks at me with a slightly concerned look "anything Sam. What's up?" I look at her and whisper "well you're the only person that knows …I like Josh and I don't know lately I've been feeling that he might feel the same-" Ashley was grinning bouncing in her seat with squealing in excitement, "Simmer down! I don't know if it's in my head, but then again if he is. Do I act on it and possibly ruin a great friendship if it doesn't work out." She stopped bouncing and started to think, "Hmm… Think about it this way, if you never try you'll never know. You don't want to live with what ifs. It's bad enough that it's been this long" I wipe the condensation on the side of my wine cooler, thinking about what Ashley is saying "I guess the problem is I don't even know how to go about it!" Ashley laughs and says "you can't force it, it'll happen naturally and you'll know the moment when it comes" I nod my head and go to take a sip of my drink when I say "I guess your right" I noticed she looks like she started to space out. I lean in her view but she still didn't acknowledge me, I turn to see what she's looking at and see Chris and Josh walking toward camp. I snap my fingers in front of her face "Is that what you want to happen between you and Chris?" she snapped out of it and looked at me with a beet red face and started stammering. "I –I Umm… See... I don't know" I hold my hands up laughing "I'm joking Ashley chill out" she takes a deep breath and a few seconds later the guys emerge from the forest with chunks of wood. Chris seems amused but Josh not so much, _I wonder what happened_ … Mike and Jessica finished putting together the table when Mike shouts "let's get this party started!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Josh POV**

 _You know for being rusty at this I have not lost my touch._ I turn to Chris and smirk at him while I aim my shot and _splash,_ sealing Mike and Jess' fate sinking their final cup! I do a victory lap around the table with my hands in the air while Chris is shouting "CHAMPS" pointing at himself. I see Mike turn to Jess to strategize their redemption, I can hear from the other side of the table he's slurring and using Jess' shoulder to steady himself. I look at the table as I see their cup still on the table along with our 5 remaining cups. Jess raises her ball to take the shot and Chris is standing at our end of the table with his face behind the cups to distract her. Jess aims and shoots… misses _by a long shot_ she shouts "FUCK", while she walks away disappointed in herself. Mike hands her a cup to take their shot and says "Cheers", she smiles and takes the shot. _Did I mention this turned into shot pong?_ Chris starts shouting "CHAMPS" while turning to face me and I know what time it is _chest bump_.

Mike walks over to Sam and Ashley and puts his arms on their shoulders, and tells them "Good luck" and plops in one of the chairs around the fire almost falling over in the process. Jess follows suit but lands in her chair slightly more gracefully than Mike did. But she is noticeably holding her head, most likely trying to get the world to stay still. _I'm not going to lie after playing a few games, although we've been winning, all these shots are starting to get to me._ Sam and Ashley come over to the table while we are re-racking the cups on both sides. I look over at Chris and notice that he's not as coordinated as he was earlier since he tipped over 2 cups while trying to re-rack the girls side. I look over at Ashley and notice she's swaying slightly, _she's not a heavy drinker so the coolers are getting to her._ Sam I'm still trying to figure out, she's always been pretty good at holding her liquor, but I notice a slightly glazed look in her eyes. Chris comes over to me after finishing up their rack and he looks over at them and whispers he has an idea and to go along.

Chris shouts "You guys need to catch up!" pointing at Sam and Ashley look at Chris confused, I hid my confusion but nodded my head in agreeance. He continues "each of you need to take at least 3 shots!" I speak up "I AGREE!" I say pointing at their cups, "you guys have been drinking wine coolers all night! While we're almost 10 shots deep!" I said exaggerating, Chris continued "the least you guys could do is 3 each to level the playing field". The girls didn't say anything at first they turned to and whispered in each other's ear and then Sam spoke up "We agree to take 3 shots each, but that means WE get to go first". Chris and I turned and smiled at each other, without even discussing it, we threw each of them a ping pong ball and I said "Deal!"

Ashley goes over grabs the bottle and shakily pours 3 shots for each of them. They look at them and you can tell they start to feel uneasy; but they pick up their first shot clink cups and toss them back. Ashley and Sam's face cringe after they swallow, but continue and take the last two cringing after each. I clap my hands in congratulations and say "you guys are the real MVP's", Chris walks over to the table in front of our cups defensively and says "But will they be Champs?"

Ashley goes to bounce her ball on the table and I immediately say "SWAT" and Chris goes to swat it when I notice Sam is throwing her ball in. _Shit!_ Chris successfully swats Ashley's ball but Sam made hers and says "1 down" with an evil smirk. Chris says "beginners luck" while taking the cup out and taking the first shot for our team, Ashley corrects him and says "The word you are looking for is-" _plop_. She looks down into her cups and sees my ball sitting inside, I put my hand to my ear and said "I'm sorry what did you say that was?" Ashley moves the cup over to the side and takes another shot, Chris takes a step back aiming out his shot and Sam and Ashley are waving their hands over the cup to distract him. He shoots it, it bounced on one of the cups and Sam grabs it before it could land in any of the other cups, and flashes it to us with a smile. Chris bends his knees as he is defending our cups and I'm standing beside the table. Ashley goes to shoot but comes up short and is starts rolling on the table she goes to reach for it almost knocking over a cup in the process, but it rolls toward me and I grab it. Sam caught the cup before it spilled over and told Ashley to be careful. Sam shoots her ball and it goes straight in the front cup, turns to Ashley and gave her a high five. I pick up my cup and take my shot, it burns my throat slightly but I don't let it show.

 _But I'm really starting to feel this._ I look over at Chris he looks slightly worried, at this point were going tit for tat; between cups and shots for both teams. Until there was only one cup on either side. I look over at the girls and know they're just as fucked up as us since Ashley is starting to gag after she takes her shots and Sam is swaying where she stands. She looks like she's hot, she's fanning herself with her hand and trying to blow the loose strands of hair that escaped her clip out of her face.

Chris walks in front of me blocking my view of Sam; I hadn't even realized that I was staring that hard. "Josh…"Chris says with a big sigh I look at him waiting to continue and he says "I think we should let the girls win" I was shocked. I see behind him that Sam is looking at us with a skeptical look on her face. "Why do you want them to win all of a sudden?" I asked him confused of how we go from _war to surrendering_. He points behind him as he faces me "It will make them feel empowered rather than pissed off" he turns and looks at them as Sam and Ashley are waiting patiently at the table in defense mode. He turns to me and says quietly under his breath "the choice is yours". I take my stance and aim up my shot thinking to myself, _they deserve to win at least one game since they also lost to Mike and Jess earlier._ Sam is leaning over defending the cups with Ashley by her side ready for anything, I shoot and put a little more effort than I needed to. It goes passed the cup and Sam catches it and holds it up with huge smile on her face. I look at Chris and shrug my shoulders, Ashley goes to shoot her ball into the cup and it hits to corner and bounces right into my hand. Sam shoots her ball and plop it makes it, she turns to Ash and gives her a high five. I turn and notice Mike and Jess are gone, _that's weird_. I ask Chris if he had seen where they had gone he pointed toward the tent; Sam and Ash must've noticed what we were talking about. Since Sam peeked her head in the tent and backed out slowly and quietly she came back over to us and whispered "they're passed out".

 _Two down._ I go over to the fire and stand behind one of the chairs; my mind is starting to feel hazy but I'm not exactly sure why it's starting to feel that way. I start to feel anxious as I look around the camp, I suddenly have this feeling as if someone is watching us. Chris must notice my anxiety and walks over to me "you okay man?" he says putting his arm my shoulder pulling me off to the side away from the girls. I nod my head no as I still continue to scan the area with my eyes. _The liquor is really kicking in, I didn't hesitate with the truth this time._ He stops walking and turning me to face him, grabs my shoulders and says "Josh your among friends; were not going to let anything happen to you or anyone else" I look down at the ground, with a mixture of sadness and anger, _mostly sadness._ "I know man it's just…never mind" _I don't want to talk about it anymore._ He looks around to make sure no one was close enough to hear, "Josh can I ask you a serious question", I just nod "are you taking your pills?" _Chris is the only person besides my parents that knows about my condition._ _I think the others think about it at times, but no one has asked or said anything to me directly._ "I did this morning" I said trying to sound positive, Chris looked at me with his, _did you really face?_ I put up three fingers and say "scouts honor" he just sighed "Bro, you know that's super important." I put my hands up and said "I know, I know, Chris please, I just started up this morning and it takes a few days to a week for it to fully go through my system. I just want to have fun tonight, and play with the ladies!" I said grabbing his shoulder and pointing over at them as they sit by the fire giggling about something. Chris face softens and tries to playfully ruffle my hair "you don't have the balls to try anything with Sam" I back away liquid confidence is high right now, "Chris, do you see any parents around? Being alone in the tent with her is the ripe opportunity for something to happen." I say smirking at him, he makes his _yeah right face_ as we walk back over to the girls to sit down.

 **Sam POV**

I turn and see Chris and Josh heading over on the other side of the camp, can't see if they're doing anything since its dark. I hand Ashley a cooler and pop open the top to mine and hold it in the air, she smiles "to champs" then her glass met mine with a _clink._ We started giggling "I want to play a game, something that doesn't require coordination" she says looking at her feet. "Hmm what should we play?" I say looking toward the fire for inspiration. After a moment I look over at Ashley "the only game I can think of that doesn't take much but sitting is _questions_ " Ashley waves her hand "No that game sucks" I take a gulp of my drink holding up a finger "only if the questions suck" she looks over at them making sure they still far away. "What do you mean?" she says ducking down as if I said something forbidden, "I _mean_ that we can use this time to pick their brains about anything and they _have to answer or if they feel too uncomfortable; they have to take a shot or their drink of choice._ " I said holding up my wine cooler. She grabs her arm looking down "I don't know, but that also means we would have to answer whatever they ask…" I tilt my head to the side "true but that's what's going to make it interesting" I say taking a sip of my cooler. I turn to her saying "sometimes what you say you don't want to happen; are you secret desires" she starts fumbling with her fingers embarrassingly I put my hand on her arm and give her a serious face "Sometimes you need to know your place in someone's life. You know?" she nodded her head agreeing, she sat up straight and took a big gulp of her drink.

I look over and Josh and Chris were grabbing some beers and heading over toward us. I speak up first "Me and Ash were just saying that we should play questions" they both looking at us suspiciously but I continue before they could interject "If you refuse to answer a question you take a shot of your drink", they look at each other and Chris says "What kind of questions?" I look over at Ashley so she can agree as I say "Anything" they look at her as she nods her head approvingly. They look at each other again still suspicious when Josh says "if we're going to be drinking these drinks" he says holding up his beer and pointing at our coolers "We need to pour at least one shot inside. It'll be more incentive for open honesty." Chris gets up to grab the bottle and bring it over we see there isn't much left inside, he shakes the bottle "Might as well finish up what's left" he goes over to each of us and fills the neck of our drinks with the last of the vodka. I gulp inwardly and start to think what did I get us into? I look across the fire to Josh and see him saying something inaudible to Chris while walking over to the tent and getting inside. Ashley must've noticed as well "Where's Josh going?" she said to Chris, he pointed toward the tent saying "he's changing, but he said we can start". I turn to Ashley "since we were champs, would you like to go first?" she perks up and says "sure" she looks between Chris and I and stops on me. She says "In your opinion; does size matter?" Chris makes an, _oh my god_ face looking toward Ashley. I did say _anything_ … "It's more about the connection with someone." I say, Chris leans forward "That's not answering the question" he points at me accusingly. "What do you mean?" he mocks me " _connection with someone._ Does size matter yes or no?" I look over at Ashley and she holds up her pinky, looking at her short stubby pinky and I thought if I see one that size I would be disappointed. "Yeah it does." I say hanging my head low I felt so vain saying that. Chris shouts "I knew it!" laughing, "Ok since I got asked a question then it's my turn to ask next" I look right at Chris "Chris, Who should make the first move? The guy? Or the girl?" he opens his mouth nothing comes out at first then he says "The guy should" glancing over at Ashley.

Josh walks out of the tent in sweatpants and my eyes immediately wander low; before I could stop myself. I shift in my seat as I saw the apparent bulge, I feel myself starting and I try to push those thoughts out of my head. He puts his hands up and says "What did I miss" as he sits in his chair. Chris turns to him and said "Sam says size _does_ matter, and I said the guys should make the first move" Josh smiles with this devilish smile and says "whose turn is it to ask a question?" Chris turns to Ashley she tenses up, "Have you ever went skinny dipping?" she starts to blush and says "I did in a lake at summer camp…" Josh and Chris are grinning, "Ash I didn't know you had it in you" Josh said to her. She looks over at me then at Josh and says "Josh, when was the last time you had a sex dream?" he hesitates he raised his drink but then placed it back on his lap and said "This morning" he said with a sigh. _That's why he had was…..this morning; it makes sense! I was lying next to him this morning, what if he was thinking of me._ I squirm more in my seat at the thought. I look up and Josh looks at me and says "Sam…. What were you thinking about the last time you masturbated?" I froze immediately and brought my drink to my lips and took a shot. _Nope!_ He started laughing, I can feel the shot in my wine cooler as it burns down my throat.

"Ok then Josh, name a place that your surprised that you haven't had sex in?" he looks into his drink thinking, Chris says "Times running out" while Ashley starts doing the jeopardy music. Josh looks over at Chris "What I'm timed?" he says "no but we should to make sure our answers stay authentic, so you can't take more than like 10 seconds to answer or you take a shot" I nod my head "makes sense" Josh puts his hands up and says "my car" even Chris looked at him surprised "you haven't christened your car yet?" he leaned back shaking his head and glanced over at me and said "not yet"; I shift in my seat. Josh turns to Ashley "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" without hesitation she threw back her shot, and turned to Chris "Have you ever got caught masturbating?" he throws back a shot and starts shaking his head, Josh looks at him "dude!" Chris smiles and says "Josh, how many girls have you had sex with?" Josh looks over at Sam, then sips his drink, he turns looking at me but asks the question to-"Ash, have you ever thought about being a lesbian?" She thought it over quickly, "Nope". She turns to me, and asks "Do you like giving head or getting head?" I look at my drink but decide to save it, "getting it is amazing… depending one who does it; and sometimes I don't mind returning the favor if it's good." Chris nods his head saying "understandable". I look over to Josh who was already looking at me in shock of my answer, "hmmm" I say leaning back in the chair liquid confidence high; "Josh" I hear myself slur his name. I ask the first question that pops in my head, "Have you ever dreamt of having sex with me?" His eyes grew wide and we're all silent as we stare at Josh for an answer, a few seconds go by, _he hasn't answered right away_. _I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, did I go too far?_ He throws back a shot with patches of crimson throughout his cheeks, _if he throws back a shot then that means he did?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Josh POV**

We all delve deeper into this game and next thing you know; I look down my bottle as I take the last shot, and realize we all pretty much finished our drinks. Chris got up and grabbed one of the shovels and started to put some dirt on the fire; I grab the other one and start helping out. Chris says "You seem to have your work cut out for you tonight" I dig into the ground and toss the dirt over the fire starting to dim it, "What do you mean?" he puts his shovel into the ground, as I throw the last pile extinguishing the flames. He leans in whispering "Have you seen the way Sam's been eyeing you all night?" _I did notice but I didn't think anything of it._ Chris puts his arm around me and said "good luck and good night", I turn and see Chris walking over to his tent telling Sam night. Ash says how she's trashed and going to crash, she spoke with Sam about something briefly and quietly. I walk over to our tent, and hesitate before heading inside. For a second I thought about what Chris was saying, thinking about all the glances that were thrown my way; that I wouldn't have thought twice about in my reality. "Joshh?" I hear her slightly slur my name before heading into the tent, I stop and turn to her. She walks up to me and gets really close, but I don't move, for that moment it felt like I stopped breathing. She asked "Are you happy?" I can hear the sincerity in her voice. People say _drunk words are sober thoughts_ so to be honest I was slightly taken back by the question, she _cares_. I looked down at her and said "I'm happy in this moment, and that's all I could ask for right now" that was the truth. She smiles while she slowly walks into the tent and I couldn't help but watch her silhouette disappear in the darkness, her movements were confident. The way she moved was so mesmerizing right now, I can't help but stare at her.

I peek my head in the tent before getting in and I couldn't see a thing. I see the faint glow of her phone light up the ground and we can see our bags and the sleeping bag, and mentally paint a picture of the set up. She walks over to her bag and I head over to the double sleeping bag, but I can't help but stare at her as she looks through her bag on her knees, she takes her hair out of her clip and her blonde locks frame her face so beautifully. She places her phone face down on the ground, so we're enveloped in darkness again, I rub my eyes as if it's going to help my eyes get adjusted faster. Lying on my back staring at the top of the tent, heart beating fast for what feels like my imagination, and everything I felt and heard tonight is all in my head. Thinking that this is almost like a dream, and start praying to god this isn't another sick hallucination. I notice a faint glow of her phone but it immediately went off before I could even lift my head. I feel a tug on the sleeping bag and can feel the warmth of her body slide in next to me, I instinctively want to lean into her but decide against it, when I realized how much skin I actually felt. We turn facing each other, "You don't mind right?" I hear her whisper, not really sure what's she's referring to, since darkness is all I see. "I forgot to grab something comfortable to sleep in…" she grabbed my hand and placed it on her bare waist, skin to skin. _Oh my god, please be real._ "Oh?" I said trying to compose my voice, she leans and I can feel her breath so close to my face. _It's crazy how some people can make your heart beat so fast, when you don't want it to beat at all some days._ I move my hand from her waist to the side of her face, and she flinches slightly but then leans into it. My heart is beating out of my chest "Sam I need to know this is real" rubbing her cheek, she giggles, _she doesn't understand how much I'm praying this is real._ I leaned in, her lips were everything; soft and sweet. I close my eyes and feel her leaning into the kiss, I can feel her smile as she reaches up and grabs the back of my neck deepening the kiss. She arches into me pressing her body into mine, opening her mouth, our tongues clashing, she tasted like the sweet wine cooler. We stayed like that till our lungs couldn't take it anymore and we had to pull apart for air.

She leaned her forehead on mine, we're both breathing hard, "Josh…" she whispers in between breaths. "I have to say something…." I pull my head back almost making out the outline of her face in the darkness. I feel her sit up in the sleeping bag so I lean on my elbow, she lights up her phone and even though the phone is dim I can see it glow showing her red lingerie. I shift my legs to cover my erection, she starts holding her arm as if she's starting to feel insecure. _It's now or never Josh_. Heart beating out of my chest, I speak up first "When I think of you the first thing I think of, is a black t shirt and red plaid skirt" she looks at me confused. "That's what you were wearing the first time I saw you… When Hannah bought you home..." I said smiling reminiscing in the memory, she sat silent but she was covering her face, "I like you Sam, _alot_ " I turn facing her "When we first met, I never thought I'd have a chance with you…Your so beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you, so I never acted on anything." her phone light went off. I'm back in the darkness feeling nothing but my heart beat. "But I never stopped liking you Sam, I was just too scared to try anything and possibly ruin our friendship if it went south." I feel her move closer saying "Josh, you mean more to me than anyone. I realized that life is too short for to live with regrets." I start to sit up when her phone lights up and you can see _Ashley's name_. She leans back squinting, I take the moment to drink in the sight. The way she looks tonight and how she said she feels about me. She looks back over at me and sees me looking, she smiles embarrassingly and tucks some of her fallen hair behind her ear.

"Sammy?" she looks at me under her lashes, "Josh, your one of my best friends, I like you... way more than a best friend should" she said placing her arms around my neck leaning in. "I just don't want you to do something you might regret" I said looking down. She leaned down into my line of vision "I would only regret it if I never tried" the light on the phone goes off. I felt our lips met again but this time was different it was softer, more sensual, she laid on her back as I was over her, trailing kisses from her lips to her neck. I started leading a trail of kisses to her breasts; I felt her arch her back for a moment then I felt the fabric of her bra come loose. I can't see anything, but I can feel, I slid my hand up the fabric, her skin was soft yet the tip of her nipples were so firm. I lean down and take one in my mouth gently sucking while pinching the other between my thumb and forefinger. She whispers her moans, I move my mouth to the other breast as I use my hand to slide my hand on top of her panties, I can feel the fabric clinging to her lips, and she squirms and moans pushing into my hand. I can hear her toss her bra to the side, she lifts her leg and it brushes past my erection and I immediately buck my hips forward, out of reflex. I lean back to slide off my pants; I feel her lean up as she says "my turn" then slowly starts to crawl on top of me while I'm still taking my foot out of my pants. I couldn't even protest if I wanted to before I knew it I felt her hand in my boxers and in one swift movement, she had the tip in her mouth sucking. I groan in my throat as my legs buckled _, I could go right now_. _This better be real_! Her mouth lowers, and I can feel her tongue on my shaft. Every twist and turn and caress was soft yet aggressive, I felt paralyzed as I was getting lost in it. I feel her remove her mouth and go to look down but only see darkness, I feel her replace it with her hand gripping the base, as her mouth covered the top. She gently kisses the tip and pushing down creating a tight suction and starts moving up and down, while her hand was twisting. _It's taking every fiber in me not to buck my hips, I feel like a bull trying to stay still._ I throw my hands up gripping my face, "Fuck Sam" I said groaning as I bucked my hips forward feeling the back of her throat slightly. _Shit_! I lifted my hips for a few more thrusts and I couldn't hold it anymore. I put my hands over my eyes as I can feel myself emptying in her mouth, biting on my lip to hold in my moans. I can feel her tongue caressing the tip of it lightly, as she smile pulling away swallowing, all you can hear is myself breathing heavily. _I feel like I'm on cloud nine right now,_ laying here tangled up laying in this tent.

I start to feel a renewed energy start to come around, I turn around to lay on my stomach facing her, I use my hands to grab the top of her thighs and pull her forward and she leans back. "Josh?-shh" She shuddered as she felt her underwear move to the side and the tip of my tongue slide between her lips. I pulled them further aside and spread her lips while pushing my tongue in deeper this time. I can feel her tightness on my tongue, _I can only imagine when I'm inside her,_ my member twitches at the thought. She tastes even sweeter down here, it's addicting. She's moaning and pushing down on my face, _I know what she needs;_ I slowly slide one finger inside her. She arches her back in response; she's so wet that it slides right in, I can feel the muscles of her walls contracting against it. She starts bouncing on my finger, I can feel her pushing down even harder on it. I add another one, my fingers feel as they are pushing together with her tightness I start scissor them stretching her; then she starts grinding in circles on my fingers. Her moans are no longer whispers anymore, but I don't think she or I really care right now. We are in our own world, and we are completely blissful right now. I curl my fingers slightly inside her as my mouth found her clit; I can feel her hands wrap around the back of my head. Her moans are getting louder, her bouncing is becoming more fervent. "Ohhh…Josh…." I match her thrusts pushing up as she pushes down while sucking and nibbling on her now swollen clit. I can feel pushing my face into her and pushing deeper when she lets out a loud moan and starts convulsing, I feel her walls start to contract around my fingers, she says "I'm coming" I replace my fingers with my tongue and feel her essence spilling in my mouth.

She lays there breathing hard, I crawl up her body to kiss the side of her neck, her breathing returning to normal. I whisper "are you ready?" in her ear, she says "yes". I position myself at her entrance, I can feel the heat radiating from her. I slowly start to push forward and immediately I feel how warm and tight she is, my legs start to shake as I groan her name "Sam…" She moans as she feels me stretching filling her, _I wish I could see her face_. Once my entire length was in, I start to feel her walls contract; I then start building a rhythm. I can hear her moaning in my ear and feel her tightness around my length gripping; and I can still taste her on my tongue, it's almost enough to drive me insane. All of my senses are filled with her, the phone lights up the tent, and we are finally able to see. Her face is in a twisted pleasure, her breasts are bouncing with every thrust, I look at her and all I can think of is _she's so beautiful_. We make eye contact and she grabs my face and kisses me while she lifts her butt off the ground, making my thrusts go in deeper. I feel her back wall and push against it and she starts moaning really heavy, I hear her say in my ear "Right there, I'm so close" so I go for it. Every thrust I pushed further and further into her, until I felt her wrap her legs around me. My groans are escaping as I can feel her contracting tighter, my thrusts are becoming more primal. "Fuck Josh!" she says as I'm slamming her body into mine and she is moaning even louder, I feel myself getting close. I tried to slow down, I don't want this to end. She felt it me slow and started grinding into me almost sitting up forcing us to keep the momentum. I bite down on my lip trying to hold myself, _I don't know how long this is going to last_. I feel her slam down full force a few times, she pushes down, almost like she wants me to break through. I can feel her walls tightening as she says "I'm coming". Feeling her walls contracting milking me, takes me over the edge, I can fill her essence spilling out mixing with mine. We stayed in this position for a couple of minutes taking in everything. I pulled out and rolled onto my side of the sleeping bag, I take off my boxers since they're _wet_ and grabbed my sweat pants and put them on. Nothing was said at first we just laid there in what I felt was a comfortable silence. I start to become overwhelmed with emotions _, I wonder what she's feeling now;_ after telling her how I feel and having sex, this all can't be easy to absorb right now.

I feel her roll over away from me, she still hasn't said a word, and I have to ask "you okay?" she didn't answer right away, "Yeah…I…" She paused, "Josh I'm scared." I move closer "Scared of what?" I turn and feel her hand find my shoulder as she aimlessly starts to draw circles with her finger, I hear her sigh "I'm scared to lose you. I mean, this is like everything I've always wanted. But I just don't want the timing, to ruin what this could be." I put my hand on her waist and rub my thumb on her bare skin. "We'll just take it one day at a time." I lean down and give her a kiss, _I admit it I'm addicted already. So_ soft, although she tensed up seeming surprised by it. I pull back enough that our lips are still brushing lightly, and feel her lean into me closing the distance.

I start to feel a chill, I know Sam felt it too, she was rubbing her arm trying to cover it up. I sit up and feel around for the zipper, after feeling different areas I finally found it, and zipped them up and slid further down. I can feel her wiggling over by me, I turn her on her side facing away from me and lay up against her. I wrap my arm around her and bury my face in her hair, she smelled like berries with a hint of smoke. I hear her yawn, and it feels that in that moment my adrenaline reached empty, I yawn myself. As soon as I felt my lids get heavy I felt a sharp pain in my arm "What the fuck" I said pulling my arm back slightly "What was that for?" She grabbed my arm and put it back in the spot it was just in saying, "Showing you that it's real". I kept my arm around her and just squeezed her for a hug, I laughed saying "Thanks, life saver" and kissed the side of her head, as we both drift off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Josh POV**

 _These are the things that he shows me, the darkest places of my mind. Shows me what I'm capable of and more. Makes me feel powerful, but I feel that every night it drains me making me powerless. Psycho, he talks to me encourages me some nights, and others manipulating my thoughts. Where I become disorientated and paranoid, I hate those nights but even more that they happen during the day. I see him in his mask always in the distance, but hear his voice as if it's behind me whispering. But knowing that no matter where I go he goes too? That'll make anyone paranoid. He also knows when I'm trying to make him go away. Just like every night when I take any medication, but he hasn't shown up yet. He didn't do anything, I didn't understand, maybe I'm getting stronger. Unfortunately the relationship I have with another annoyance in my life, Dr. Hill shows up wherever, never know when he's ready to pencil in another session._

"Hello Joshua" he says from his desk folding his leg in his chair, I look at his desk and notice a folder on his desk. Thinking of what could be inside and thinking of the photo he showed me last time, I look up at his as he grins and says "welcome back, you seem in good spirits today, would you like to tell me why that is?" I thought about _Sam_ and started to have flashbacks of what we did tonight, "Oh? Congratulations, being a man from time to time feels good doesn't it" my eyes grew wide, "So you two have feelings for each other, yes?" Involuntarily I thought of when we kissed and I told her how I felt I felt my heart flutter. "Aw how sweet, teenage love; you don't even realize how fragile you are. She's not going to deserve the hurt you're going to give her." I see flashes of me chasing her around the lodge in a towel and feeling an adrenaline rush. While running, I just so happen to see in the corner of my eye a mask in a mirror. _Psycho_. "NO!" I push those thoughts out of my head, he looks taken back, "There you are, let's start your exercise then shall we." He grabbed the folder and took out a sheet of paper it had one of those ink blots on it, "tell me Joshua, what you see in this picture?" he says handing me the photo, I never understood these kinds of tests. I shrug my shoulders, "try a different perspective" I flipped it upside down. "How about now?" I look at it and it mostly just looked like a black blob, until the side of it looked similar to Hannah's tattoo. My heart sinks, the blob starts to look like a side profile of a face, until it starts moving to look at me. Its Hannah I can tell from the glasses, she looks zombified. I throw the picture on the table, I can hear Hannah screaming "Laying down with the enemy? Aren't they the reason we're dead?" I grab the sides of my head _No this isn't real please stop, leave me alone!_ I lift my head after hearing silence, Dr. Hill was still seated waiting, "let's go back, to the exercise." He says flipping over another photo, it looks almost like a face _._ It starts to move around until it reaches out and grabs me by my shirt, I'm still paralyzed as I get dragged into the darkness. I'm able to move around but I can't see a thing, I start to see a flicker of light and start to walk towards it. The closer I get the flickering starts to turn into a projection screen, like a movie. I stand there staring at the screen as I see some pictures start to form. It was Sam bathing alone in the tub at the lodge, and the psycho behind her. I reached out for the screen thinking that was going to help or warn her. But he looked at me through the screen, then walked out of the screen up to me. I was paralyzed where I stood, as if not breathing or moving he wouldn't be able to see me. But he does and he walks right up to me, he cocks his head to the side and I can hear his voice behind me. "Joshua your fucking with your future, the one I have planned" He moved to the side exposing the screen, its Sam dressed up in an evening gown while I'm in a tux, my name flashes on a screen and I jump up and walk over to the stage, Sam is up clapping smiling, I lean over and kiss her. "I don't understand" I say looking away from the screen. He points at the screen "winning awards for my ideas, being famous! I have the perfect idea, but you have to think big." A photo of the lodge pops up on the screen, "you must go back, and have a grand finale" he said throwing his arms in the air. I start shaking my head _No_ , _I can't go back there not after what happened to Hannah and Beth._ "YOU MUST!" I hear him yelling in my ears. "No you're not the boss of me anymore" I say covering my ears, but I can still hear his voice in my head. I can hear him saying "You think you're stronger because you got some pussy? It's going to have to take more than that. You want everyone to remember you as Josh the guy who lost his sisters or the Josh that goes back and makes a better situation out of a bad place. Making lemonade the whole nine!" I start saying over and over _"this isn't real, none of this is real._ " I can still hear his piercing voice in my head I close my eyes tightly, "let's make a movie Joshua, and let's make history"

I open my eyes and I had to immediately cover my eyes as the sun started piercing through my brain. I looked around and see I'm still inside the tent, look over and Sam is already gone. I unzip the rest of the sleeping bag and see two white pills and a bottle of water, _Sam_. I smiled and took the water and Tylenol happily, I get up and stumbled walking over to my bag, I felt something on my foot and it was my boxers from last night and I can see they were wet. _It was real!_ I get to my bag and grab my sunglasses that are on top, so I can function. I looked into the bag and shuffled through the clothes and start changing, when I see my pill bottle, _thinking about Dr. Hill and him,_ I grab it and pop one in my mouth.

I walk out the tent and see Chris, Mike, Ashley and Sam sitting by a small fire eating breakfast sandwiches, "Look Sleeping Beauty is finally up" Chris says I wave but continue walking without saying anything, I need to find a secluded area to take a piss and brush my teeth and try to get rid of this headache, before I attempt to interact with any one just yet.

 **Sam POV**

Chris, Mike and I are discussing the questions that were asked and some answered from last night since he passed out early. "No way really Ash?" he says turning to her as she looks down in a blush. I look up and I saw Josh emerge from the tent, Chris looks at me then turns his head following my gaze, "Look Sleeping Beauty is finally up" He waves a hand over at us walking away _, I wonder if he remembers last night._ It's almost like its eating me up inside, to talk to him about it but I don't want to push him away. I can hear his voice in my head saying "One day at a time" I take a deep breath and focus back into the conversation, I look up and Jess comes stumbling out with her sun glasses on. She walks over to the cooler and grabs a bottle of water, "Guys is there anywhere to take a shower?" I raise my hand "I second that question" Chris leans back in his chair and says "There's a lake about a quarter of a mile that way" he says pointing inside the woods. "What? Chris I'm not going out in the open and skinny dip in a lake" Chris looks over at Ashley who is blushing. "Well it's secluded by rocks and has a small stream waterfall you can use." I felt like I had a light bulb go off, "we could go in our bathing suits." Chris and Mike look at each other and nod their heads, Jess finishes off her water bottle then says "Genius" walks back into the tent and I'm assuming to start changing into a bathing suit. I get up and go into the tent, I look at the sleeping bag and think of last night and how _amazing_ it was. I shuffle through my bag and find my Black and Pink bikini and slip it on. I walk out and see Jess ready waiting off to the side, as I walk over to her I see Josh come into view and start talking to Chris and Ashley still seated by the small fire, I look at Jess " you ready?" she looks over at their tent "Mikes changing, he's coming too." Speak of the devil I turn seeing Mike emerge from the tent in his trunks, he walks over to Josh and puts his arm around him and whispers something in his ear. Josh nods his head while listening and he looks over at me, I almost felt stunned by his gaze. He starts walking over to the tent, while Mike walks over to us throwing his towel over his shoulder "Josh is coming" my heart flutters. Jess looks over at me and pulls me aside by my arm and when we're out of earshot, "spill it" she says, "What are you talking about?" she puts her hand on her hip pushing it to the side, "You and Josh. You spent the night alone in the tent together and it's all over your face that something happened" she says circling my face in the air. I sigh "don't say anything Jess" she claps while having this huge smile plastered on her face "details" Josh emerges from the tent and walks over to Mike who looks over at us. "Short version. We both told each other how we feel and we… had sex" her jaw dropped and she playfully pushed me in my shoulder "No way! Wait, who initiated it" I nod my head raising my hand guiltily. "We don't have all day ladies" Jess perks up when hearing Mikes voice calling out. She turns to me and says "We can walk and talk".

We both turn and start walking toward them, they were ahead of us talking quietly to themselves, and we fell behind a bit so we can talk amongst ourselves. "So how was it?" I look over at her she changes her question "How was he?" I suddenly started feeling embarrassed "the whole night was amazing, he told me that he likes me and I told him I felt the same, and then one thing led to another" she looks over at the guys to see if they were listening, but they were stuck in their own conversation. "That's what I wish would happen for me with Michael, but since him and Em just broke up I don't want to be a rebound." Jess has always told me about her crush on Mike for a year before him and Emily even got together. So I understand how much being with him means to her as much as I needed last night to happen for me and Josh. "You never know what could happen. I surely didn't expect last night to happen…" I look over at the back of him, he's talking to Mike about what sounds like an idea for a video. They start to fall back and we notice that we're starting to catch up without putting much effort. Mike says "It should be coming up" we all start walking forward together. I can hear water, but I don't see anything, I notice the louder it gets the deeper we go and the shrubbery increases. It is starting to feel secluded so we must be close, the guys go off the sides to widen our search.

Jess and I pass a bush when we see the side of the lake, we walk over and see that it's a decent size lake and it does have a small waterfall feeding from a stream, but most importantly the fact that it's pretty clear water for a lake. I can see small schools of fish swimming around, we decide to take off our shoes and walk in. The water was cool but not enough to say it was cold. We walk over to the water fall and stand against it, while we lean our heads back letting the water go through our hair. As close as we can to showering, until tomorrow that is. Once I was done I walked back into the water and sat on the edge of a rock my legs submerged up to my knees kicking my feet. I hear Josh and Mike behind me walking in, Mike says "Mother Nature at its best" he says walking in throwing his shirt to the side then swimming across the lake, Josh following suit. Josh dives under and pops up about 10 feet in and starts to float on his back. Jess wades over to me and whispers "Are you going to say anything to him?" I look at my feet in the water "I don't know what to say" Jess looks over her shoulder keeping her eye on him, in her peripherals "What do you mean? You can fuck him, but can't talk to him?" I kick some water over to her "I'm dead ass Sam, you have to say something" she turns to Josh wading around the water seeming deep in thought. She turns to me and says "you better figure something out" I slide in the water, "I don't know maybe I'm scared of what he might say…" we start heading over to the other side where our stuff is, she says quietly "Both of you know how each other feels; and even went the extra mile and had sex. What more could you be afraid of" I start to dry myself with my towel "I don't know I just feel like I'm waiting for something bad to happen and ruin everything" Jess bent forward to dry her hair while saying "you shouldn't think like that, _negative thoughts have negative results._ " I start putting on my shoes looking over at Jess when she whips her hair back out of her face, "is that from a fortune cookie?" I say jokingly. "Not sure" she says laughing. The guys come walking up grabbing their shirts and towels drying as they walk, Jess turns to me and whispers, "You're going to have to figure something out soon" walking back to camp, Mike trailing behind her.

I finish putting on my shoes and start to walk, when I feel someone file in next to me. I turn and see its Josh and my hearts sinks, I'm starting to feel nervous. "Hey Sammy" I turn looking forward to watch where I'm going "Hey" I try to hide my shaky voice. "Thanks for the hangover kit this morning you're a life saver" I almost forgot that I even did that "Oh yeah, no problem" he puts his hand on his side "Did you sleep well?" I step over a rock and start feeling an ache in my side "other than sleeping on a rock or root, like a baby" I look up and I can't see Jess or Mike anymore. He was silent for a minute pondering about something. Then says "Can I ask you something?" my heart is officially beating out my chest I just nodded my head, "Last night… Did you mean what you said?" I inhaled deeply "I said a lot of things last night, which part?" I respond. He grabs my hand, I stop walking and turn to him "all of it" he says looking at me I can see in his eyes begging for an answer. _I thought about last night and how we both said we've had feelings for each other._ I smile and say "one day at a time right?" he takes a step forward I look up at him, his eyes are smiling. We both turn when we hear our names being called by Mike and Jess, "I guess we're being summoned" he says starting to walk back to camp his hand is still in mine, fingers intertwined.

After a while of walking we start to see Mike and Jess in the distance when I feel my hand get suddenly colder. I look over and Josh is gripping his head in pain and my heart sinks "Josh are you okay?" I say guiding him to the floor as his knees buckled. "JOSH!" _What the hell is happening?_ He's not responding he's just gripping his head in pain, I look over and Mike is running over while Jess is on her phone running behind him. I look back at Josh and he has blood dripping from his nose, "Josh?" Mike goes on the other side of Josh and starts rubbing his back, "what's wrong with him?" I look at Mike just as baffled, "I – I don't know we were just standing talking and then we heard you guys calling for us and we started walking and then he just dropped" I say exasperated, I can hear Jess giving only what I'm assuming is 911 dispatcher our location. I'm shaking I don't understand how it just went from the best moment to my most heart wrenching. _I'm so scared._


	8. Chapter 8

**Josh POV**

I feel like I got ran over by a truck and left for dead, the amount of strength its taking me to attempt to lift myself up. I'm pushing, but my body isn't moving, I'm eventually able to peek my eyes open to realize I'm lying in the snow. Every so often I would try and see if I can get up but nothing, not even a muscle would twitch. Each effort felt like it was draining me more and more, I've seen the sun go down a few times I lost count after a while, frozen in the snow. These days it's just been me this snow and the howling wind carrying them, whipping and nipping at my body. The pain I felt eventually went numb, I couldn't think of anything but who would be able to find and help me. I started to think about Hannah and Beth and how this may be how they are right now. I start to feel helpless I start giving up on myself, on my sanity. Laying here pinned to the freezing snow… helpless, it's hard to find a ray of hope. I start thinking I'm never seeing my friends again, _Chris, Mike, Ash… Sam…_

I try to move but still nothing, I can hear a voice and I immediately try with all my might to get up. I see my hand move and I keep pushing up trying to lift my body, it felt like pins and needles all over my body but I have my arms moving. I start to crawl forward with my head low, I think about my friends and for a split second I felt like I heard Sam's voice say my name. _Josh we can't lose you too_. I look around and don't see anyone, I keep pushing forward. I feel my arm fall forward I didn't even realize I reached a cliff. I panicked internally when I felt some sort of presence behind me, the rocks under gave and I start to fall. I tucked my head as I feel myself tumbling down on sharp rocks and ice mixed with snow. I can feel myself getting cut but after a minute become numb to the pain. When I feel myself stop, I lift my head my vision adjusting to my new surroundings, the more things become clear I realize I'm in some sort of cave, but it's hard to tell being surrounded by darkness. I start to hear a voice and I feel like my heart tremble deep in my chest. _It sounds like Beth._ I don't know why but I start walking forward toward the darkness, almost like it was drawing me in. I can hear her voice becoming clearer the further I went in. My heart is vibrating in my chest at this point, but I continue moving forward. "Josh!" I turned and see Beth running toward me her arms wide as she embraced me, "Josh! I'm so glad I found you! We have to find Hannah and get out of here!" I can feel myself lean into her embrace taking in every second, even though she was frantic. "Let's go" she says leaning back and tugging on my arm to follow her deeper into the darkness. After a few of turns I pull back on her arm she turns to me with a worried look on her face, before I could get a word out; we hear "Beth!" Beth grabs my arm and we continue running toward Hannah's voice. I have many mixed emotions right now; I'm over joyed to be with my sisters again but I know this isn't real. But is it wrong that part of me wants to stay wherever it is that I am, just so I don't have to go another day without them.

We took so many twists and turns I lost track of how to even go out the way we came from. Hannah comes into view she's on the ground feeling around. I see the side of her face and notice I don't see the frame of her glasses. I start looking around until I see her black frames at the corner of my eye and go over and pick them up. I inspect them quickly, seems like there not broken when I turn to hand them to her I froze. Dropped her glasses, I stood horrified _her eyes are gone_ , she turns her face toward me "What's wrong Josh?" my knees buckled and I drop to the floor. Beth picks up her glasses and turns to put them on Hannah. "y-y-your eyes" I say stuttering, Beth turns and looks at me and her face looks like she was skinned alive. "B-Beth!" I say standing up freaking out, "No this isn't real!" Beth and Hannah stand and start walking toward me, Hannah speaks up first "Josh we miss you-" Beth chimes in "stay with us Josh" I'm walking backwards until I feel myself hit a walk and when I turn I see a hallway next to me. I hear Hannah's voice again, "Please Josh" I turn to her even missing her eyes she looks and sounds like Hannah…but I can't. "YOUR NOT REAL!" I turn and make a run for it, I take twists and turns that kind of seem familiar but some of them I completely guessed on. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, I turn and see I'm approaching a dead end. "Shit" I turn to try to back track and see my path is blocked.

"Joshua, are you ready?" _he_ says walking toward me, I start to feel a sharp pain in my head the closer he comes. I suddenly have these deep feelings of hatred but not quite but more so vengeful, I find myself thinking of Chris and Ashley and start to feel angry. _What is happening to me?_ "Motivation" I look over at him and see Hannah and Beth behind him at his sides. They say in unison "For us… Josh" he touches my head and I feel frozen, as all these images flood my mind. I can hear him laughing, "This is what they get" Beth says, "Fucking jerks" Hannah continues. _I start to feel so weak almost as if they are draining my energy out of me._ I fall to the floor when he removes his hand from my head, I'm breathing hard struggling to hold myself up I feel so weak. "Do you understand what you must do?" I look up at him and see all these flashes of a very intriguing idea for a prank. I look up at him suddenly feeling a surge of renewed energy, I smile while looking at him and simply say "The grand finale".

 **Chris POV**

I look over at Sam sleeping in the corner on the recliner, she has been by his side through this whole ordeal. The doctors won't tell us much since we aren't his family, and I've been in contact with his parents. But all they are doing is calling every so often to see if he's awake, or to talk to the doctor briefly. I gently nudge her shoulder whispering her name, louder with each time I had to repeat it. She started stirring, and peeks one of her eyes open and quickly looks over at Josh quickly and see him still asleep. "You should go home and get some rest" she shakes her head No "He needs us here when he wakes up" I put my hand on her shoulder "Sam I know your mom must be worried sick. I'll take the night shift, come early in the morning so I can leave to shower and nap tomorrow." She looks over at Josh with a worried look on her face, I know she doesn't want to leave him. She reaches into her pocket as we hear it as it vibrates again and looks at it standing up. "I have 12 missed calls from my mom." She goes over to Josh and kisses him on the forehead, and whispers something to him. Turns to me "I'll be back in the morning, if he wakes up before-" I intervene raising my hand to stop her worrisome rampage, "you'll be first person I call" she looks over at him one last time, and walks out the room slowly closing the door behind her.

I walk over to the bed Josh is laying and look at him just lying there, I overheard some things that the doctors were saying to his parents on the phone. Something about some adverse reaction from his medications, and he did mention that he had gotten back on them. _I see he was telling the truth about that._ They've been pumping him with different things in his IV and he has yet to wake up, and they don't know when that will be. I sit next to him on the bed, and just say how I feel, "Hey Josh, I don't know what's going on with you man… But I want you to know that I am here for you. We all are here for you whenever you need us… Especially Sam, she is worried about you man. I had to practically force her to go home to rest since all she wants apparently wanted to stay here all night. I wish I had the guts to do what you did with Sam with Ashley… I just don't want to get rejected and ruin our friendship. I tried a few times but when it came down to it, I just freeze up every time. I just don't want to blow it, but your right if I don't do or say something soon I'll lose her to someone who is able to say how they feel about her." I hear a knock on the door and turn to see who is coming, I see a woman peak in and introduce herself as the overnight nurse and she was just coming in to do his vitals and meds. I move over to the side and let her do everything she needed to do. I start to check my phone so I don't feel like I'm staring at her while she does what she must do.

 _Ashley: How's Josh doing?_

 _Ashley: Well whenever he wakes up please let me know._

 _Me: Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. No he's not awake yet. A nurse is here checking on him and giving him some more of his medicine._

 _Ashley: Is Sam still there?_

 _Me: No she went home not too long ago. I relieved her of duty._

 _Ashley: How noble of you._

 _Me: you know me, I'm always a giver._

 _Ashley: Really? Ha! Besides that, any word on Josh's condition?_

 _Me: We're still playing the waiting game unfortunately._

I hear the nurse cleaning up the station she has with all the vials and needles she used on him. "Are his vitals good?" I ask curiously, she turned and said "his blood pressure was slightly higher than when he came in but not by a significant amount. I'm going to take it again in a minute just to make sure the numbers were accurate." I nod my head, as I feel my phone buzz in my hand and look down.

 _Ashley: This is crazy he's been knocked out all day._

 _Me: Tell me about it. But it's when he's ready to wake up, then he will._

 _Ashley: Well aside from Josh how are you holding up?_

I looked at my phone slightly taken back at the actual concern she's showing not only for Josh's well-being but mine as well. I push my thoughts to the side and write it off as me reading too much into the text.

 _Me: I'm fine, tired, and hungry that's all._

 _Ashley: Do they have one of those pull out couch beds?_

 _Me: I wish! I'm stuck in a recliner for the night._

 _Ashley: Well good luck with that! Night!_

There go the thoughts of my well-being out the window, gone just as fast as it came. I shake my head as I see the nurse finishing his blood pressure and typing in his online medical chart, she turns to me "do you need any extra pillows or blankets?" I eagerly nod my head "I need all the cushion I can get to deal with this recliner tonight" she walks across the room into a cabinet and grabbed two pillows and as thick of a hospital blanket she could find. "Can I ask you a question?" she asks handing me the pillows and blanket. "sure" I get up and start tossing them on the recliner leaning it flat "were you there that night?" I froze, I know exactly what she was talking about. I can't say that this is the first time this has happened. many people who recognize us or know our names will eventually ask us about that night, it's in everyone's nature to be curious. I can't even be upset I just sigh and say "I was there that night. But unfortunately we were passed out drunk, when… it happened." I say looking over at Josh when I say _we. She_ was hanging on my every word, she looked the ground "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that was inappropriate" she said apologizing walking toward the door. "It's okay" I say over my shoulder getting into my _makeshift bed_ for the night _._ She walks out the door letting me know if I need anything she's the press of a button away. I look over at Josh lying there not moving and just pray that tomorrow he's awake.

A/N: My chapters may slow down from weekly to every couple of weeks, I'm a mom of 3 and work full time and I just started my semester. But I'm going to try to keep this going at a decent pace. But also follow me as an Author I'm going to be posting some One Shots in this category as well as others. Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you all are enjoying it, and hopefully like where it goes.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay I've been working on another fic in Elena of Avalor called _Invitation._ **Plug:** **go read it, also Rated M**. Anyway, this chapter is show more of Chris/Ashley since Josh/Sam are going through it right now. So back to the story….

* * *

 **Chris POV**

Me and the recliner didn't exactly work out, after an hour of tucked pillows and awkward positions and possibly a pulled hamstring, I decided to leave it. I would to tough it out on the pull out, "at least it has more space" I say fanning out spreading out. I hear a small knock on the door before someone opened it, but I can't see who it is right away since the curtain has Josh and I enclosed. _It couldn't be the nurse she already said she wouldn't be back for a few hours._ I see the curtain open and I see _her_ walk in with a red T-shirt with a pair of jean shorts and red canvas shoes with a bag in her hand "Ash?" my voice was probably higher than I anticipated since I just realized, _I'm only in my boxers_ since I thought I was alone here for the night. But seeing her like that it just makes me wish I could have the balls to tell her. She turns facing me "Hey Chris" she's walking over to me I lean up on my elbow, my mind is in total panic mode. Looking at her walk to me the way her hips sway, but if it wasn't for the fact the lights are dimmed I would think she was blushing. "What are doing here so late?" I sit up scooting to the side tucking the thin blanket around my torso making space. She holds up the bag in her hand "I come bearing gifts" shaking it teasingly, I raise my brow placing my arm across my thigh trying to cover the appendage that's slowly coming to life. _Fuck why does she have to be so hot_ , I gulp and say"How did you even get in here so late?" she looked over at Josh and said "I told the nurse I was a relative" she looked back at me saying "You don't see the resemblance?" she said as if shocked. I ignore her shaking my head smiling and motion toward her bag "What is that?" she sits next to me on the bed placing the bag on the bed and I can immediately smell the aroma of something yummy. She reaches in and takes out two triangular boxes and two sodas, placing them on the bed. "Well you said you were hungry and I knew the hospital café would already be closed. So, I figured that I would bring you something" and she leaned closer to me saying "and I'm sure you could use the company." I look at her then look down at food and I couldn't help but smile, "Thanks Ash". She waved her hand "not a big deal", _it was to me_.

I picked up one of the triangular boxes and enjoyed talking to her about everything from school and talked about Josh and Sam and how they clearly had a thing for each other since forever. She looked over at Josh not saying anything right away, she looked down biting her lip, holding back something she wants to say. My heart starts to race looking at her like this, makes me want to kiss her so bad. She covers the side of her arms, "man is the A/C cranked up in here" I see goosebumps rise on her skin, I lean back on the bed putting the trash along the window sill next to me, "Josh has a slight fever so I cranked up the A/C so it up so he doesn't overheat." She looked at Josh and I can see her slightly pout _,_ she's worried about him. "It's not that cold to me" I say teasingly at her; she narrows her eyes at me playfully "That's because you have a blanket, jerk". The next sentence that came out my mouth, I didn't exactly think through. "Want to come in?" my heart immediately fell as the words left my lips, it was silent for what felt like an eternity to me. Before I realized what happened she took off her shoes and grabbed the side of the blanket tucking herself in with me. While she's getting in, my eyes were wide pressing my back as far back as it will go against the couch. _I would love to be close to her but there's something between us she shouldn't have to have pressing on her. I'm trying to think of anything to make it go down, but with what's she's wearing and now under the sheets with me, it's at a full salute. What did I just do?_ I'm mentally smacking myself. She turns facing me, there's very little space between us and I'm trying my best not to move. I lean up on my elbow turning my pelvis slightly to press my erection into the couch. She spoke "I was talking to Sam about Josh; I know they had sex last night" she was laying down hair spread out facing me. "We heard it" I shook my head agreeing, still trying to think of anything but sex right now and she's making it entirely difficult _._ I change the subject to something less sexual and we get lost in our conversation jumping from subject to subject laughing reminiscing at certain points. It ended up getting late by the time either of us started yawning, she decided to stay the night so I can give her a ride home in the morning.

* * *

The next morning…

With the shade, down you could only see faint streams of sunshine through the shades, I can smell her fruity scent and I instinctively want to bury my face in her hair… _I don't_. At some point, through the night she was cold and came closer and found her way under my arm and laying her head on my chest. I have my eyes closed still taking in the moment, while trying to control my heart beat so she doesn't hear it pounding in her ear. I have my free hand holding my morning wood to my thigh not wanting it to startle her when she woke thinking I'm a pervert. I start to feel vibrating next to me, I remove my hand from my erection and reach for my phone. I bring it up to my face, squinting at the bright screen while it lights up.

 _Sam: How's Josh?_

 _Chris: Well Good Morning to you too! He's fine still asleep._

 _Sam: Well I'm leaving now to switch with you. See ya soon._

 _Chris: okay_

I feel her arch her back starting to stretch, my fingers brush up against her jeans and I move my hand away hoping she didn't notice. She opens her eyes and looks around taking in her surroundings, and looks up at me and smirking pulling away from my chest leaving me cold in the wake. She uses her arms to push herself up into a sitting position, fishing out her vibrating phone out of her pocket. She looks down at it and starts texting, I sit up fixing my legs so they don't show my semi-erection. I speak up "Sam's on her way here, we should get ready to go" she smiled at me putting her phone back down, standing up and started stretching. Her shirt raised enough to show some her lower stomach and when she arched her back…I feel the blood rush to my face. "these pull outs are so thin, they kill your back." I smiled nervously "Yeah tell me about it…" trying to control the shaking in my voice, she continued "Best part was having a personal heater." It took a second for what she said to sink in, I blush "At your service M'lady" she giggled, now I can see the blush on her cheeks now that the sun is out. _Is she blushing because of me?_ She walks into the bathroom while I take the opportunity to get up and get some clothes on instead or walking around in my underwear. After a few minutes, she walks out and we switch, by the time I came out and sat on the pull out beside her. She asked me what my plans for later were but depending on Josh's condition I could at the hospital or his or my house. When Sam walked in she looked like she hadn't slept well.

* * *

 **Sam POV**

I walk through the wings in the hospital walking up to _his_ , ever since yesterday all I can think of is _how did we get here?_ Is this just the worlds big idea of a joke? When I finally start to feel some peace with myself. I walk up to the door and take a deep breath, I say a small prayer before opening and walking through the door. I see Chris and Ashley sitting on the pull-out chatting, "hey guys" I say walking into view. I look over at him and he's in the same exact spot as yesterday, I can feel my heart strings pull and I look away. Chris sees my face and immediately takes the hint "I have to go home and change and take Ash home. I'll text you after my nap." Placing his hand on my shoulder before walking out, I just needed a moment alone with him.

I walk over to his side standing next to him, I place my hand on his "I-I had a dream about you last night. Not a wet dream before you even say something." I smiled brushing some loose strands back in place with my hand. "It was weird because something was telling me to save you…But standing next to you I feel powerless." A tear runs down my cheek, "I talked to my mom about it and she says that maybe why I had the dream, my subconscious wishing that there was something I could do to help you." Tears streaming with a ball in my throat "I can't lose you too" I wipe the tears falling, only to be replaced by more, I turn around trying to get ahold of myself. I grab a couple of tissues and clean up my face, thinking if he were to wake up now and see me like this it may scare him. I take a deep breath and turn back to him, "You know what I can't stop thinking about, even with everything happening." I paused smiling to myself "You told me you had feelings for me…" I look at him and my eyes fall on his lips, I instinctively lick mine in response. Even though he's asleep he still makes my heart beat faster, I lean down and place my lips on his. I couldn't help it; they were right there and I've been dreaming about them since the last time they were on mine. It was brief but I before pulling away completely I whispered "I love you". I hear the door open and see someone with scrubs walk through, I take a step back knowing she needs her space to work on him. I wipe my face with the tissue making sure I didn't look like an emotional wreck.

I decide to get some air while she checks his vitals, walking outside the room and sitting down. I notice his Doctor walking by and decide to stop him, "Excuse me?" he turns facing me, instantly recognizing me and looking over at Josh's door. "There is no update on him yet, other than his condition is stable and it's on him when he wakes" the door to his room swings open with the nurse immediately turning walking up to the Dr. and whispering in his ear. He looks at me and says "wait here" I counter "Is he awake?" they walk in the room so quickly leaving my question unanswered. I started to pace back and forth in the hallway outside his door, I can hear voices but I can differentiate them. _God, I hope one of them is Josh's._ I can feel my hand shaking while I continually pace, for what felt like forever. The door opened and the Doctor came out and looked at me, I walked up to him "Is something wrong?" he looks at me "No, he's fine…and awake, but I would hold off on letting everyone know. You don't want to overwhelm him right away." My heart swells and starts beating out of my chest as I open the door…


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The chapters are going to be getting longer to move the story along faster.

* * *

 **Sam POV**

Walking in my heart feel like it was rattling in my chest, I was almost scared to go into view in fear that he wasn't awake. I hear the nurses voice asking if he needs anything to be more comfortable, and hear him reply "I'm fine" my heart leapt to my throat as my eyes swelled with tears at their edge. _He's awake_ , I slowly walk into view peering in slowly, the nurse walking towards me giving me a reassuring smile seeing me on the brink of tears. As soon as I saw him "Josh?" as soon as his eyes found mine he asked worried "Why are you crying?". I walk over to him wiping my face, "how are you feeling?" Ignoring his question, "fine now" his gaze fell, I take a deep breath through my nose, trying to get my emotions under control. I turn around and see two cups with a pitcher of ice water and pour us some water, turning to hand him one. He downed his gratefully, wiping the side of his mouth saying "Pass me the jello behind you" I turn seeing a small red jello cup with a spoon and grabbed them and handed them to him. He happily opened the container and started to eat it, I took out my phone briefly and decided to text Chris.

 _Sam: Josh is up, come after your nap, the Dr. doesn't want to smother him with visitors just yet._

 _Chris: That's fine, tell him don't go back to sleep!_

 _Sam: Not on my watch_

I become distracted from my phone when I hear him say, "Why does this Jello taste so good" with childlike enthusiasm while he licked the last glob on the spoon. I couldn't help but giggle, he looks at me for a moment dropping his gaze. "…What happened?" I shrug "depends… what's the last thing you remember?" he starts thinking intently no doubt retracing his footsteps. He smirks patting the bed next to him moving his IV wire out the way to make room. I look at him curiously crawling in laying on my side since there isn't much space, surprisingly we fit comfortably. He put his cup and spoon on the table next him, turning on his side pulling me closer; we were only a breath apart. He looked at my face examining it tracing my tear stains with his thumb, "even like this…your still beautiful" I roll my eyes smiling, he smirked "I remember us talking about, _us_. Walking back from our swim". I feel my heart swell, I've been so worried about him waking up I hadn't thought about _us._ Hannah comes to mind and I feel my stomach do flips. He continues rubbing my cheek slowly going down my neck, while his free hand lay on a bit of exposed flesh on my hip. "Josh, you just went through a lot, and everything is happening so fast-" I feel all the anxiety that I've felt since he passed out lift off my shoulders, as his lips touched mine cutting off my words. I moved my lips with his slowly, letting him lead while I melted under his touch. My hands threaded through his hair, while he held me in place holding the base of my neck. I feel his tongue graze my lip, I open, our tongues clash, more emotion spilling into the kiss. _I'm not going anywhere, I'm right where I want to be._ I can feel our breath getting ragged, he releases me letting us up for air. Both out of breath he just leans our foreheads together pulling me closer. I smile still breathless, "you were saying?" he says with smirk, I lean in pressing my lips to his again briefly then lick my lips "The Jello _does_ taste good" I say teasingly, I hear his stomach growl he looks down and rubs the back of his head with a sheepish smile, "Yet it wasn't enough" as soon as I opened my mouth to say something, we heard a quick knock on the door and heard it open. We both sat up, trying not look like we were just making out. Before breaking through the curtain, I got out of the bed. Emerging from the curtain were two doctors, not the same ones from earlier. I see Josh's face change almost in a mixture of anger and fear. The one in the white coat said "Good Morning Joshua how are you feeling?" he replies with a shrug, "My name is Dr. Adams your attending physician and you already know Dr. Hill." He crosses his arms and snorts, _I've never seen him act like this,_ I look over at them and Dr. Adams turns to me and back at Josh "Who is this you have visiting you?" he lowers his arm to his lap and says looking at me, "This is my… girlfriend… Sam" almost sounding like a question. My eyes grew wide while I tried to smother the flutters in my chest, while I shook their hands saying pleasantries. Suddenly feeling awkward, I turned to Josh "I'm going to grab us something to eat, I'll be back". Then walked out the room, once it was closed, I leaned against the door. _Girlfriend?_

* * *

 **Josh POV**

I felt like I was on top of the world having Sam in my arms, even considering the situation at hand. Looking at her tear stained face knowing I was the cause of her pain, I just had to make it up to her. We kissed till we couldn't anymore, looking in her eyes; I can see all the reasons why I like her. She's been by my side throughout the ordeal with my sisters and now this, she doesn't have to care about me…yet she does. I'm upset when a couple of Doctors interrupts us, especially one that I've purposely avoided.

"Who is this you have visiting you?" I lower the arms that I had raised defensively, looking over at her. My heart in my throat I reply "This is my…" _she did say she likes me more than a best friend._ "girlfriend…Sam" I continue looking at her waiting for her reaction, I saw the faint shock in her eyes and her cheeks blush. She holds her composure and shakes their hands, and looks over at me saying she's going to grab some food then left. Once she was out Dr. Adams spoke up first "Joshua I want you to know that we all just want to help you. Your parents have asked that we call in Dr. Hill so you can discuss with him any of your concerns, since your already familiar with him." He walks over to the recliner in the corner of the room, crossing his legs placing his notepad on his lap. Dr. Adams said "So I'll leave you two to discuss what you need to, after speaking with Dr. Hill I will start preparing your discharge paperwork" before leaving the room.

Dr. Hill opened his leather-bound notepad saying "It has been quite some time since you've paid me a visit." I scoffed "I'm sure you got paid" rolling my eyes, "Joshua I don't want you to think because your parents pay me well, that I don't care. I want to see you well, I want you to be happy. That has always been my goal." I cross my arms leaning back in the bed, waiting for the onslaught of questions. He puts his glasses on "we will do our usual segment to start us back somewhat of where we left off, and branch off once we find a starting point." I look up at the ceiling placing my hands behind my head "shoot", _I know there's no getting out of this, so I might as well cooperate._

He clears his throat and says "In the past two weeks, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless?" I think for a moment remembering the nights in my room where I felt lower than dirt, but then there was the night Chris and Sam came over and then camping… "Last week I was a wreck but this week I would say is going better…well besides being here" he writes down a paraphrase of my answer, then proceeds "What was the difference between the first week and the second?" he says without glancing up at me, "So far this week I was with my friends." He nods his head approvingly, "Have you recently had any thoughts of suicide?" I shake my head "not too recently" he looks at me under his glasses "how recent is, _not too recent?"_ I sigh "like 2 weeks ago," he jots it down, "How well are you sleeping?" I feel a shiver go down my spine thinking of my nightmares… "fine" he put his pen down no longer taking notes, takes off his glasses rubbing his eyes, "Joshua" he said trying not to be annoyed. "They started again" I say lifting my arm to cover my eyes. "For how long?" he asks, I reply "They never stopped" he shifts and puts his glasses back on balancing it near the tip of his nose "How many hours of sleep have you been getting lately?" I pretend to count my fingers and he eyes me. "I probably get about 5 hours, split up throughout the day; and that's on a good day" while jotting his notes he asks "How has your energy level been?" I think back to the past couple of days "Well I actually left the house… and hung out with my friends, so I would say better than usual" He stopped writing taking off his glasses "Did you enjoy yourself?" I look down blushing thinking about Sam "I did" he looks at me smirking "I see you and Sam have gotten to know each other well." I nod my head, he asks me almost as if in a whisper "does she know?" I close my eyes and shake my head no, "not yet" I say before he even asks the question. "If she is your _girlfriend_ she has a right to know" I look down, "If she truly has feelings for you she will stay by your side. Does being around her help?" there was a long pause, I had to think, _does she_? Since I took a long time thinking he responds "I'll take that as the jury is still out for that" I shrug nodding my head. "Have you been taking your medication?" I look at him with a _really_ face, but he sits patiently waiting for a verbal answer "I wasn't until recently" I elaborated "the past couple days I started back up again" he put his glasses back on and writes it down, then closed his notebook. Looking at me taking off his glasses putting them in his shirt pocket, "It seems as though your body went into shock when you suddenly started your medication back up, since you were off it for a significant amount of time prior." He stands up walking over to my side. "Your parents have set up a car service that will pick you up and drop you off to my office. So, we can talk, and administer your medication via shot. They gave you one while you were out, it takes a couple of them before they fully take effect." I look at him and glare "I can drive myself" he turns and grabs his notebook "I'm just delivering the message." He flashes one of his business cards and writes something on the back, he turns back to me pointing at the card left on the table. "If you ever need me sooner, call me on my cell, we can make an appointment or just talk about how your feeling over the phone." I nod and he turns leaving out the door, I look over at his card and feel my chest get tight slightly. I'm trying to suppress this urge that's trying to boil up to the surface. I take slow deep breaths chanting to myself that I'm in control. Eventually the feeling subsides, and I hear the door open and Sam emerge from the curtain with something that smells delicious.

I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I already almost done, Sam lay quietly by my side on her phone, letting me enjoy my food. Once I was done I chugged the juice she bought; it was so cold going down, which made me feel alive again. She looked at me from the corner of her eye, I saw her smile then she said "Feel better?". I just nodded my head looking at her, the tear stains are practically gone and she seems to be doing better, knowing I am. Looking at her, the words seem to be on the tip of my tongue, _I want to tell her… he doesn't._ The less people that know the better, especially if it could push the one person who I want around, away.

She pulls me out of my thoughts, "Josh?" I respond "hmm?" she starts to blush slightly but doesn't turn away from me, "about what you said before?" _I knew this was coming._ "what do you consider… this?" I say pointing between us. She didn't say anything right away "I mean unless you have sex with all your friends, which of course can make things even more fun" she punches me in my arm "of course I could be mistaken" she glares daggers at me, then softens her face "As much as I want this, I want to make sure this isn't the wrong time for it" her cheeks tinted pink. My heart sank slightly, _she's right._ "So…do we just go back to being friends and pretend what happened in the tent, didn't?" she blushed "About

I pull her close to me, _she's always so far,_ "Being with you makes me feel better" She looked up at me "really?" I nodded, she just leaned into my chest hiding her blush, I hear her say "one day at a time remember?" I held her closer, we laid there for a while in a comfortable silence. I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled her scent, I had one arm wrapped around her and the other went under her shirt gently rubbing the small of her back. I feel her faintly jump at the touch, but then leaning into it arching her back slightly. I hear her moan, not a sexual moan, but a relaxing one. I continued along all the crevices of her back painting across it with my fingertips; brushing around her bra. She laid in my arms for quite some time before I heard her faintly snoring in my chest, I couldn't help but smile. Unfortunately, being asleep for a full almost 24 hours, makes it hard to nap, plus I can sit here and stare at her all day.

I feel so lucky to have her around to help me cope, " _that is…_ _until she finds out…"_ I try to push the thought out my head even though I know who's pushing it to the forefront. I grind my teeth, and chant in my mind, _I'm in control._ I hear his laughter faintly in the back of my mind; sending chills down my spine. _Go away!_ I scream in my mind, visibly closing my eyes. That was a bad choice, I can see him in my mind looking at me menacingly. _"Joshua don't forget what you must do, don't let this bitch distract you"_ I feel myself fill with rage, _don't talk about her._ I shake my head trying to push him back, _"What would Hannah think of you dating her best friend?"_ I feel her arm wrap around me squeezing, I squeeze her gently in return, without opening my eyes. I can hear her in my head "Don't even think about it Josh" thinking of the times she caught me staring at Sam, I sigh, _things are different now, Sam feels the same, Hannah would understand... "would she? or would she hate you for moving on? forgetting about her so quickly"_ I cringe, _I would never, I could never forget… "Josh?"_ I hear Hannah's voice say I turn and see her seated in the chair where Dr. Hill was earlier; she's holding her face in her hands crying "Everyone forgot about me." She wines, I shake my head _, I would never…_ she looks at me and my heart drops, it looks like her, _my Hannah_. My heart leapt in my throat, all I want to do is give her a hug and let her know I'm here for her. I look down at Sam's peaceful face and she laid unmoving, I glance back at the chair and see it is vacant. Hannah is standing by the bed now, she reaches and cups my cheek while I lean into her hand, feeling a slight warmth. I whisper her name "Hannah…" I close my eyes and I can hear her voice continue in my head "come back to me" I look at her confused, but now I'm aware of the tears streaming down the side of my face. I start to see visions of us the night at the lodge, all having fun drinking; _what does this mean?_ _Why is she showing me this?_ Her voice echoed in my head "Back to the lodge" my heart drops, _I can't._ I can feel her hand move from my cheek to my throat, my eyes shoot open and see _him_ squeezing my throat; hearing him snarl in my head "you will".

I spaced out for a long time just thinking of all these ideas, I can feel this rage burning at the pit of my stomach, aching. It felt like a couple of hours before I was snapped out of my thoughts, when I heard the door open. I turn my body slightly, careful not to wake Sam. To look toward the curtain and see who the guest of the hour is now, and see Chris and Mike walk in. Mike opened his mouth but then snapped it shut upon seeing Sam and they immediately start grinning, Chris walks over and whispers "Aww love birds" he says throwing up a heart sign in his hands. Mike is making kisses faces behind him snickering, which made them bust out laughing. I look down and her brows are furrowed, being startled by the disturbance. Chris holds up a piece of paper and whispers "discharge" I nod my head, Mike holds up a bag "I got you something to change into, may be kind of big on you, but better than the dirty clothes from yesterday." I slide my arm from underneath her, the guys are watching holding their breath, or maybe I was since I'm trying not to wake her. _Mission Successful._

Mike tosses me the bag while I head in the bathroom, I jump in the shower and change cursing him. The pants hung a low on my waist, which was to be expected since I have a skinnier frame than him. The shirt on the other hand, he knew exactly what he was doing. I glare looking at my reflection I'm in a black shirt with an astronaut riding a unicorn through a giant rainbow circle. I shake my head smiling even though I'm annoyed, _it's Mike_ , so I just brush it off rolling my eyes. I walk out and they snicker to each other while I make a _ha-ha_ face, I look over and notice Sam's awake sitting up in the bed. She looks at me and starts trying to hold her laugh but fails in doing so, "Sexy" she says with a fake seductive voice. Chris tosses me my keys, "thanks man" Mike interrupts clearing his throat "I drove your car back here while Jess had to drive mine" he points at me menacingly "you owe me" I smile at him "I owe all you guys…for everything" suddenly feeling sentimental I hold up the keys "Thanks." Chris walks over to me handing me the paperwork, and puts his hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze, and says "I'm a phone call or text away if you need me" I nod my head "Thanks" he heads to the door with Mike behind him "You can keep the shirt Josh, looks fabulous" while waving his farewell. I turn to Sam and smile saying "Are you coming over?"

* * *

 **Sam POV**

We drove in a comfortable silence on the way to his house, once inside I see him drop his keys in the bowl, kicking off his shoes to the side, heading upstairs. I walk into the kitchen grab a glass fill it with water from the fridge, while he no doubt went upstairs to change into something less _colorful_. Putting the water back in the fridge something caught my eye, a picture of Hannah and Beth, my heart drops. I can hear Hannah's voice in my head saying how she _dreamy_ Mike is, I smile back at the thought. Realizing without Hannah I don't have my best friend to do _girl talks_ with, about the guys we have crushes on or are dating… I told her how I felt about Josh once, she said it wouldn't work out. But I never let it deter me, I would always try to do something that would bring us closer to him and his friends, just to be near him. Helping with his videos, and even being the victim of their pranks. Hannah knew that though, but she started getting a crush on Mike so she didn't mind _…_ since it brought her closer to him.

I didn't realize I was crying, I must've been so deep in thought, until I felt his arms wrap around me. He didn't say anything at first, until he knew I was done crying. He let go and I was immediately disappointed, he spoke up his voice breaking slightly from the pain, "It's been months…" he turns facing the front door, I see his eye twitch trying to keep the tears from falling he inhaled deep as they fell "I stare at the door all day from the top of the stairs, hoping one day they'll…walk through" he looks at me as more tears fell. "There's so much I wish I could change about that night" I took a step forward while he took one back, I stopped. He turned leaning his hands on the island in the middle of the kitchen, "I wouldn't have drunk so much…" he said voice cracking, I spoke up "I wish I would've gotten to her first…" the will to hold back my tears were non-existent as they slid down my cheek. He turned to me raising his voice "I should've been there for them!" I look back at the photo, "It's not your fault Josh, we all had a hand in what happened, and all wish we could do something differently." I touch Hannah's face in the photo, while he wipes his cheeks of his tears. I turn to him and ask "do you think she would care…about us?" he looks at the ground shrugging his shoulders immediately looking hurt by the question _._ I notice the different shirt, _he changed,_ I see his gaze turn back to the picture, I can see he's hurting and see him visibly gulp and started walking out the room, I can hear his footsteps fade upstairs on the way to his room., _I think I upset him._

* * *

Walking in his room; the lights are off and I can faintly see his figure laying on his bed covering his eyes with his arm. "Josh?" he peeks but covers his eye back up, I walk over and stand next to his bed. All the times I've been in here, I've never been in here with the lights off and…on his bed. I sit next to him on his bed, he sighed breaking the silence saying "I was thinking back in the hospital about …what would Hannah think." I lie down beside him, he lifts his arm off his eyes and looks over at me, "So do we act like the camping trip never happened?" I feel my chest tighten "I can't forget" I admitted. Even in the darkness I can see his smile, "me either" so I shrug "Then I'll give you some time to think…" he didn't say anything right away, just nodded sadly. He leaned up on his elbow to face me, my heart is in my throat _I want him,_ but I want him when, _he's ready_. I turn my body to face him slightly so we're facing each other. He looks at me and although he's smiling I see tears welling up in his eyes, "Josh-" I whisper his name wiping one tears trail down his cheek, when suddenly I'm cut off by his lips. I can feel him trembling, he slides his hand on my back; my breasts pressed against his chest and I can feel my nipples rubbing against him through our clothes. I moan into his mouth, he slides his tongue in once I did. He drops his mouth to my neck sucking gently against a piece of skin and nibbling it between his teeth. His free hand slides up my shirt squeezing my breast gently in his palm, I can feel my desire rising. He releases my neck and moves up to my ear "one more time?" his voice sent chills down my spine, he leaned up looking at me for a response. All I could do was nod, suddenly feeling tingles all over, I tug at my shirt and pull it off, while he did the same. Once his shirt and pants were off, I said "lay down" he looks at me questioningly but complies.

He lays his head on his pillow folding his hands behind his head, I stand up and rid myself of my shoes and pants. He nods his head approvingly once I'm in my lingerie, he bit his lip as I climbed on top of him. I lean down and kiss him for a while distracting him with my tongue. I unsnapped the front of my bra and shrug it off without breaking our lip contact, letting my breasts bounce freely. I lean back and his eyes grew wide and I can hear him groan loudly, his hands rubbing my thighs. I can feel him raise his hips grinding his erection into me, I can feel the heat between the thin fabric of my panties. The more he did the further my lips spread, breast bouncing with each thrust and I would throw my head back and moan; _I can't wait anymore_. I reach down and release him from his boxers while he groans under my touch, grabbing the sheets under him. I raise up and move the thin fabric to the side enough to uncover my moist entrance. I lower myself until I feel his heat, I can hear him intake a sharp breath as he felt my entrance start to lower around his erection. He grips the sheets tighter "Fuck…you're so tight" I can feel him filling me, until I fully engulfed his throbbing erection. I can feel myself adjusting around him, I placed my hands on either side of him and started to lift my hips till I felt I was near the tip and drop back down engulfing him once more. I start to increase my speed once I adjusted my footing getting comfortable in a good rhythm, once I felt him hit the wall I immediately pull up, not wanting to push into it. But apparently, he had other plans, he grabbed me by my hips and slammed me down into him while he lifted his hips driving deeper into me. I throw my head back feeling him grind against my walls, I feel the urge to get him as deep as I can, I reach behind spreading myself driving him deeper as he slams into me. I feel his thrusts getting more frantic, I can hear our skin slapping with each thrust, mixing with his groans and my moans turned to screams of passion. I can feel my breast bouncing when suddenly he leans up and suckles on my nipple once he found a deep thrust he wants to grind into. I push myself forward, I can feel his hand find my clit and start rubbing it in circles. I can't hold on any longer as I feel myself shout his name, feeling my walls clenching around him as my orgasm was being released. I look at him when I feel it dripping down my thighs, and he groaned while mumbling a curse; I can feel his orgasm filling me while he buries his face in my chest; turning me on my side not pulling out. Almost like we've been snapped out of reality we hear a car door, but it was close. I look at him curiously, he slides out of me sliding closer to his window lifting a piece of the shade to see if anyone pulled in the side driveway; he turns to me eyes wide "Shit my mom's home!"


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hey all I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I recently have played Until Dawn: Rush of Blood. Not really part of the story line or anything but it was so fun, I know the makers aren't working on Until Dawn 2 but when they do. I really hope it's for the VR, that would be awesome! 

**Chris POV**

Walking down the block putting my hands in my hoodie as the fall air whipped around me. I look down at the ground trying to avoid the wind whipping a stray leaf or dirt in my face. I started to smell coffee in the air and knew I was close to my destination. _The things I do for my friends_. The smell got stronger and luckily, I looked up as I was coming up on the door and almost passed it. I grab it and let a woman on her way out walk out before walking in. As soon as I walked in I felt my exterior melt, I removed my hat and ran my fingers through my hair so my hat hair wasn't too extensive. I hear my name being called out and turn around until I spot them sitting at a table and smile. I walk over to them pulling out the available seat "What took you so long Chris?" Sam says, I take off my jacket and place it on the back of the chair "Your coffee was getting cold" Ashley says placing the cup in front of my seat and says "it's your favorite" she says in a singing tone. I smile as I have a seat explaining "I had to park a few blocks away" I take a sip of the coffee, and taste the sweetness and feel the warmth going down my throat, since it sat here waiting for me it's not hot enough to burn. I put the cup on the table now that I've found my happy place, "So exactly why have I been summoned?" I say leaning back folding my arms. Ash says, "since when do we need a reason to summon you?" I raise my brow, Sam speaks up "It's been a few months since we've all hung out together, we're overdue." Ash continued "We've already got Mike, Matt and Jess onboard, still waiting on an answer from Emily." I took a sip of coffee filling myself with warmth once again before answering "I'm down if that's what you're asking" I glance over at Ashley but when we catch each other's eyes we both look away.

I look back at Sam and say "I'm assuming there's more" hiding my blush by taking a bigger sip. She says "I asked him to go camping" I furrow my brows "What does that mean?" she leaned in "I asked Josh to come camping with us, it's your turn" I put my cup down. "Why can't you ask him?" she didn't look away but I did see a blush cross her cheeks, "I don't want him to feel like I'm asking him to go as my date. I want him to know it's a friendly outing, so who better to ask him than his best friend?" I unfold my arms, "Well what do you guys have in mind" they smile Ash explains "Halloweens this weekend and we figured we could get dressed up go out, maybe get a room to hang out after so we can all pass out." Sam interjects "something along those lines, but we're open to suggestions" I shake my head taking a sip "sounds good to me, but pitching it to Josh may be a bit difficult; since he hasn't really left his house in months" Sam leans back in her chair with a slight pout, "all we can do is try…" I lean back in the chair reassuring her "We may be in luck since you know Josh loves Halloween" a hopeful smile crossed her lips smiling with the thought of him no doubt.

I know Josh said he needed time before he can be in a relationship, which I understand given the circumstances but damn Sam has been waiting for months for him to be _ready._ I reach for my phone as it vibrates while Sam and Ashley start talking about what their costumes are going to be, while texting I can faintly hear their conversation in the back of my mind.

 _Josh: you busy?_

 _Chris: I'm at the coffee shop with Ash and Sam_

 _Josh: I guess so_

 _Chris: Not really, there talking about Halloween costumes_

 _Josh: Tell Sam she would be a hot Daenerys lol_

 _Chris: haha she wouldn't go for that._

 _Josh: Then I'll continue to see it in my dreams then lol_

 _Chris: Are you busy Halloween?_

 _Josh: you going trick or treating?_

 __

I shake my head taking a sip of my coffee thinking to myself, _here he goes being difficult._ I lift my phone up after putting my cup on the table.

 _Chris: No. We're trying to get everyone together for one night, to have fun. Sam and Ash said we can go out and maybe get a hotel room for everyone to crash._

I see the three dots pop up on my screen showing me he's about to reply then disappear and a moment later reappear, this happened for about a minute before I was beginning to write something he responded.

 _Josh:_ _I'm down, on 2 conditions._

 _Chris: Which are?_

I was snapped out of my phone screen when I heard Sam saying my name "Your deaf Chris" I look between the two of them confused "What did I miss?" Ashley looked at the ground with a sad look on her face, and my heart sank. Sam saw my face looking at me arms crossed, "Who do you think Ashley should be for Halloween Chris?" I look over at her while her head lifts slightly looking at me, I got lost in her green eyes for a moment without thinking and said "I think you'd make a sexy Poison Ivy." I imagined it for a second and tried to hold down the blood rushing down, but see her eyes grow wide and blush cross spread her cheeks when Sam claps snapping us out of our trance saying "Yes! I can totally see it." Ashley pushing her blush back looks over at Sam "What about you?" Sam puts her hand on her chin thinking, "Well Josh said he'd love to see you as Daenerys" she raised her brow "He would say that since it's his favorite show" Ashley chimed in "Daenerys is his favorite character on the show" Sam blushed putting her hands up "not going to happen" I felt my phone vibrate and laugh out loud to myself which caught the attention of Sam and Ash looking at me like I'm crazy "What's so funny?" I put my phone down "Do you want the good news or bad news?" Sam looks at Ash confused and Ash says "Good news" I lift my coffee up before bringing it to my lips saying "Josh says he's down" Sam smiles but then drops "What's the bad news?" I place my cup back on the table, "Well only half of it is bad news…He said instead of a hotel he'd want everyone to come back to his place after to crash." Sam leans in waiting for Chris to continue, "Let's just say he has made a personal request on your costume"

 **Sam POV**

"Sam if you keep moving this curl isn't going to look right" Jess says pinning up portions of my hair, and curling random small curls. It was weird when she would do the front since she's Marilyn Monroe/zombie. Half of her face looks flawless like Marilyn's but the other side was a special effects party, with the blood and peeling flesh. I look in the mirror and see Ashley starting to feel insecure, "Chris was right you do look hot as Poison Ivy." Her hair was wavy and Jess finished her off with some spray glitter in her hair to let it shimmer slightly, she had green leotard and tights with vines and lace going down her arms and legs. Jess gave her yellow and green eye shadow with winged eyeliner and penciled her eye brows lightly in red making her eyes pop, finished her off with red lipstick outlined in black and blended into a pout.

We hear the car horn honk and Jess looks out her window and waves, "Alright ladies lets go" we all start to head out. I look at myself in the mirror pausing to make sure my appearance was okay I felt a little weird not being as done up as Ash and Jess. But it was what Josh wanted so I complied, I look at my face I had a nude eyeshadow pale rosy cheeks and a pale lipstick that had a slight shimmer. I had mascara on with no liner and my hair was pinned up in the back with a few stray curls that framed my face beautifully. What I did like was my blue dress that had gold accents on the shoulders and around my waist. The front was deep V neck it dipped so low I couldn't wear a bra, and the sides of it have been slit mid-thigh which showed my legs when I walked, I had gold strapped heels that I strutted out in front.

We walk out and see Mike and Matt out of the car in their costumes taking selfies with Jess and Ashley, Mike was Indiana Jones and Matt was a Fire fighter. "Come take a picture with us Sam" we took a few pictures since Jess kept blinking and finally we were off toward downtown. I look out my window as we drove and saw the houses of suburbia fading into taller buildings. Mike looks over at Matt "Reach under your seat" Matt complies and looks over at Mike "Vodka!" Ash and Jess start whooping and we all start passing the bottle around taking shots. I feel my phone vibrate and I pull it out,

 _Chris: Are you guys there yet?_

 _Sam: We'll be there soon._

 _Chris:_ _I had to make a pit stop and grab Emily after getting Josh._

 _Sam: Okay we'll meet you guys in the parking lot. We can take a few shots before heading in_

 _Chris: Cool see you then_

I put my phone away as the vodka is getting passed to me by Ashley, I bring it to my lips and let it flow straight to the back of my throat trying to avoid letting it touch my tongue. I can feel the heat flow down warming the pit in my stomach. After a few shots, I realize I haven't seen Josh in a couple weeks, even though we talk and text. I start to feel nervous and Jess must've spotted it "Damn Sam that dress is hot I wish I would of thought of being Daenerys" I smile at her compliment and Mike speaks up as we arrive at the parking lot. I tell them to wait for Chris so we all get out and start taking picture of us taking shots, when I see Chris' car in the distance. He parks a few spaces away Emily was the first to come into view with a long black wig, dressed as a playboy bunny. I notice the light sway in her hips as she passed Mike and Matt looking straight ahead, Mike followed but then quickly snapped out of it and turned away; unlike Matt whom I spotted watching too. I look up meeting Matts eyes and he turns away blushing. Mike turns asking Jess how she did her makeup for her costume since it looks realistic. I turn and see Chris and Josh, Chris is dressed like Clark Kent, I can tell because the tie is thrown to the side and his button shirt is unbuttoned revealing the superman logo. At least he already has the glasses all he had to do was change the frame to match his persona by getting a thicker frame. Josh was dressed up face paint and all as Jack Skellington, _how fitting,_ he walks over to me clapping I curtsey "Good Evening" showing a little leg, he raises his brow saying "you look amazing" I look him over "not too shabby yourself" he tugs on the collar of his jacket walking over to Matt throwing his arm around him "Oh em gee Matt! it's been ages." They go off to the side no doubt catching up. Chris goes over to Mike and takes a shot from the bottle passing it to Emily, she takes a big gulp making a disgusted face after she swallowed. "Damn Em" Jess said "I can hold my liquor Jess I'm not a child" Jess snorts crossing her arms "Em lay off" Mike says in a warning tone, she turns her head away ignoring him, he quickly smiles turning to face us saying "Let's take a group picture" Jess squeals "Let me grab my selfie stick!" Everyone walks over to the car and we took a few group selfies and drank half the bottle before heading into the club.

Before even walking inside you can hear the hum of the bass, as we stood in line to get IDed and get wrist bands and compliments on our costumes along the way. Some people said I look just like Daenerys and requested to take a picture with me since they were a fan of the show. Once we finally got inside we split up girls went to the bathroom, while the guys went to the bar. Jess guides us through the crowd to the bathroom, some of us used the time to make room for more liquor and freshen up our makeup. We were small talking about what songs we can't wait to hear and ohh-ing and ahh-ing of the different costumes we saw others in. While I was washing my hands, I heard Jess say "Let's have fun and shake our asses" Ashley nods in agreeance, Emily looks down into the sink for a moment lost in thought, or maybe the liquor is already hitting her. I place my hand on her shoulder gently "you okay Em?" she looks over at me shaking her head "Yeah sorry I'm fine" Jess and Ash head out to the bar no doubt. Leaving us in the bathroom, for some reason I knew there was more than what she was leading it to be. Having taken the shots, it gave me courage to prod slightly. "you sure Em? You seem like something is bothering you" she looks at the ground but then looks back up at me trying to hide her feelings from showing on her face. "I'm fine Sam, you know how it is when you have someone stuck in your mind" she leaned in raising her brow "I know what you did this summer Sam" she says in a playful sinister voice, I smile, while she leads the way heading out obviously not wanting to go into detail on who and what. We head over to the bar where the guys, Jess, and Ash are and they gave us drinks, Mike holds his glass up "Let's party!" everyone beams clicking glasses then chugs.

The next few hours flew by as we were all dancing laughing having a great time, well most of us anyway. Emily ended up getting super drunk, she was slurring and falling over and ended up picking a fight with Mike, we're unclear of what it was even about. She went out to the front to get some air and Matt volunteered to check on her when she didn't come back for quite some time. Mike was off to the side venting to Chris, Jess, and Ash, about how ridiculous she can be at times.

I felt someone creep up behind snaking their arm around my waist, turning my head to see them. I see it was Josh and I feel his hand pulling me closer, I sway my hips to the beat pressing into him. Feeling the liquid courage in my veins dancing with him came easy, it felt like we were the only ones on the dance floor. After a few songs, we were breathless it felt amazing, I could tell how he felt as I felt it pressed into my ass, I knew if we were to continue where this night will lead, _not that I would mind_. I pull away dragging us over to the bar where everyone else is to get some water, which we happily gulped down.

Realizing we're still a few friends short, I turn to Ash and Jess "Where's Emily and Matt?" they shrugged their shoulders Ash yells in my ear since I can't hear over the music "they went to the front!" I nod and yell back in her ear "I'm going to check on them!" Jess reaches for my arm stumbling when I turn toward the front, "I'm coming!" she yells, I grab her hand and head to the front squeezing through all the bodies, Jess could barely keep up, until she stopped to take her heels off holding them in her hand. We finally arrive at the front and we start looking around and I'm having a difficult time remembering what their costumes were, with all the bodies in here. There was a genie talking to a fire fighter, various slutty maids, nurses, animals, a police officer dancing with a witch and another firefighter making out with a _bunny?_ "Emily!"I thought I said that in my head, but I said it aloud, Jess followed my eyes but only caught the ending of them pulling away, her mouth lay gaped. Emily's lipstick is smudged around her lips with the same shade now plastered on Matt's, we just looked at them not saying a word. Emily tried rubbing the lipstick off her mouth, but those long-lasting lipsticks are a bitch to get off, same situation for Matt as his lips have a faint pink shimmer to them. Emily walks over to us stumbling with Matt holding her up, as if right on cue Chris and Josh walk over to us. "What's up party people!" Josh says putting his arms around me and Jess as we finally closed our mouths coming down from our shock, he looks at Emily who is suddenly looking very pale. "You okay Em?" she nods her head heading out the door outside mumbling that she needs air. Jess and I are right behind her when I turn to Matt quickly saying, "Can you get Mike and Ash so we can head to Josh's" he looks at the group embarrassed and turns to get them. Chris and Josh follow us, obviously seeing Matt's face they knew something was up but didn't press it right away. Thankfully, Jess was currently holding up Emily's wig out of her face while she emptied her stomach onto the sidewalk. Chris and Josh head to the car, pulling it up to the front of the club. While I headed to the nearest late night pizza spot and asked for a couple of bags and napkins. Matt, Mike, and Ash get to the front, and of course the first one trying to help is Mike, and she is pushing him away covering her face, insisting she is fine. Once the car pulls up I help her get in the car and I feel her grab my hand before I can lean back to close the door, "Sam ride with me" I turn to Jess and quickly say "we'll meet you guys there" I didn't even give it a second thought and hopped in. I take one of the bags and wrap it around her wrist for easy access in case she feels the need to vomit…again.

She has her head on my shoulder eyes are closed, mumbling of how she fucked up. I can see Chris look at us in the review mirror as Emily says "drop me off home" Josh turns looking at us and I can see he is concerned for Emily, which he has every reason to especially when she starts crying. "he must think I'm a slut for throwing myself at him" then it dawns on me she's not talking about Mike she's worried about _Matt._ _I knew it!_ I saw the way he was looking at her earlier and how he was suddenly very concerned about her which led to their lip lock session that Jess and I walked into. Josh looks at me furrowing his brows but turns to face the road to give Emily some privacy. "What am I supposed to do Sam?" The question surprised me; considering I don't exactly know the situation. I just tried to be encouraging "You can tell he feels the same. When you sober up tomorrow talk to him about how you feel" Chris looked up as he parked and he and Josh got out making sure she got to her house okay, while carrying her shoes and bunny ears. I wave to her while she starts dry heaving in a planter on her porch, eventually she heads inside.

Josh and Chris get inside the car and immediately ask me "What the heck is going on?" I look at Chris' eyes in the rearview when I say, "When Jessi and I went to check on Matt and Em… they were making out…" Josh and Chris whipped their heads around like the exorcist, _good thing we're at a light._ Josh brings his hands to his head and says "mind blown" Chris shook his head "I never saw that coming." I looked straight ahead thinking back on what I saw "I guess seeing is believing."

We get to Josh's house and notice the only people waiting are Mike, Ash, and Jess. Josh says "Where's Matt?" Mike shrugs his shoulders "said he didn't feel good, so, I dropped him off before coming here" Jess crosses her arms looking over at us since we were missing someone as well "I guess Miss Emily wasn't feeling well either?" Chris shook his head "Plus, I didn't want her blowing chunks in my car" Josh puts his arm around Chris and Mike "Let's head inside and finish off our evening" he said obviously trying to lighten up the mood before heading inside. For most of the night we all sat around the kitchen talking catching up reminiscing of all our times together, talking about how much fun we had and that it shouldn't take us this long to get together while playing a few games in between.

Ash and Jess get changed into some pajama shorts and tops, I caught both Chris and Mikes gazes as their eyes followed the two ladies who walked by to ask Josh for some blankets and pillows. Since we finished off the bottle, everyone's inhibitions started to fade and it showed. Chris and Mike stayed in their costumes since they weren't much different than their regular clothes. Josh came out with a stack of pillows and blankets that he was trying to balance, I walk over and grab the top half of it "Thanks" I smile, "no problem" he threw a pillow and blanket on the single lounger, and the love seat. While I threw two pillows and a large blanket on the pull out. I look around and count the pillows and notice he's short a set. "There's 5 of us" I say to him and he looks over at me, "So you can't sleep with me when are friends are around?" I feel a blush cross my cheeks. _I've slept over a couple of times and it was in his bed…_ He starts walking toward the stairs, "I'm going to take a shower."

I turn and see Mike plop onto the love seat stretching his legs over the arm kicking off his shoes, his shoes made louds thuds on the floor. He looks over at me with a smirk on his face, "So, you and Josh are a thang?" I smiled turning to look over the now empty staircase, "not officially" in an effeminate voice he said, "well excuse me" and we laugh. I see a thought cross his face where it saddened for a split second, "What's wrong?" he shook his head "Just thought about Em" I freeze remembering what I saw earlier at the club. I turn trying to hide my face "… Are you talking to anyone?" trying to deter his thoughts away from her. He shrugged his shoulders "I've had my eye on someone, I just don't know how to approach it" I took a deep breath. "Go for it" he puts his hands behind his head looking up at the slowly spinning ceiling fan, biting his lower lip obviously thinking about it getting nervous. "I try, I just haven't been honest on where I want it to go" I look at him confused "Well you should let her know, and stop thinking about Emily". I say lightly pushing the side of his head as it falls to the side "I know, I know" he says, lifting his head meeting my gaze he continues "old habits die hard I guess" Chris walks in "I want to watch Die Hard!" Ash raises her hand "Me too" Jess stumbles in tripping over Mikes shoes, she catches herself before she fell. "Michael! Put your shoes away, before someone gets hurt, like me!" Chris and Ash were already walking over to the TV trying to find the movie. "Sorry Jessica" he grabs his shoes and puts them flush against the couch out of the way. "Ah-Ha" Ashley says holding up the movie case opening it and putting in, while Chris went and shut off the lights. Everyone went over to their spots and got under the blanket, it felt so weird knowing I wouldn't be down here with them to pass out while watching movies like we used to. I walked over to the stairs throwing my hand up "good night" I heard a round of good nights while Jess said teasingly "Sam upgraded guys" I say "HA HA" sarcastically.

I head upstairs and I can hear the shower still running, I head to his room and notice there's a few boxes and random papers littered throughout the floor around his desk. I push some of the boxes out to the side, and hear metallic clanking inside I decided it was too heavy to lift and just slide off to the side. I look inside and see _gears and pieces of track?_ I move onto the next box pushing it to the side it was empty so it was much easier, the name caught my attention since it had a cartoon pig of one of the biggest butcher shops in town. Looking at the size of the box I'm wondering what he ordered, _Meat in bulk much?_ I walk over to his desk and start picking up some of the papers littered around the floor and place them on the desk. When something blue catches my eye, I start to pull it out and realize it's a rather large piece of paper, I don't pull it out all the way in fear of getting caught snooping. It looks like a floor plan of some sort but the layout is big but too big to be his house, then where? I stare at it as if I'm trying to walk through it and when I get to a split in a staircase, _the lodge?_ I notice it's quieter and realize the shower is off, I push the paper back into the pile and pick up the rest of the papers covering it. I quickly undress into a shirt and some shorts, and lay on his bed and I'm immediately engulfed in his scent.

He walks in shortly after, towel in hand rubbing his wet hair, wearing a white tee shirt and navy sweatpants that's clinging to his moist skin. His eyes look around the room quickly then land on me smiling "you cleaned my room?" I feel a blush creep up my neck "I tidied up, since you took forever in the shower" _it's half true._ He looks over at his desk and looks over at me with an eye brow raised, "really?" he looks over at the boxes throwing his towel on the side of one of them. "Working on something?" I asked and he looked at me confused, I pointed at the box that had the gears. He turned around "Just some stuff I found in the basement, figured I can repurpose it" he flipped the light switch surrounding us in darkness with the faint glow of the light on the side of the house. I feel the bed dip in and I scoot over closer to the wall giving him space. "Why are you so far?" he says turning me and pulling me close, so my back is flush with his chest. I just _had_ to ask "When I was cleaning, I noticed you have a blueprint of the lodge…" I feel him stiffen and turn to face him, "Josh?" he turns to face the ceiling, I can see his profile glowing from the light outside, and see he's biting his lip. "never mind I shouldn't have bought it up" he turns to face to me, "I've had it since they went missing…" I didn't respond right away, he continued looking at the ceiling but put a hand on his face trying to control his emotions. He turned to me, "I've been talking to my therapist about it…" put my hand up silencing him "You don't have to explain" he moved my hand "I want to…" I looked at him making sure it was something he wanted, then nodded for him to continue. "Sam…I need to go back to the lodge… for closure" my heart sunk but I didn't respond, _I still have dreams of that night and wishing I could change what happened, but I know going back won't do anything but cause more pain… for me._ "Sam your looking at me like I'm crazy" I shook my head "I'm sorry Josh it's just I can't imagine going back personally … What did your therapist say about it?" he reached for my hand it was so warm to the touch, he explained "He said that if it would help to go, then go… but told me not to go alone…" I resisted the urge to say so many things as I let him continue about having everyone go back. Once he was finished I didn't say anything right away, all I could mutter was "Why?" he removed his hand from mine leaving it exposed to the cold air around us. "In a few months, it will be a year they were ripped from all our lives, and I feel like we owe it to them to go back" I thought about it and each time something just didn't feel right, but looking at him like this. "I don't know…" he turned to me "you don't need to decide now, we have time before we decide if we should go or not" I shook my head and he placed his hand on my chin searching my eyes "Promise me you'll at least think about it", him looking at me with those eyes I melted but I put my finger up "I'll think about it" he smirked and leaned in placing his lips on mine for a brief chaste kiss before we rolled over and went to sleep. Sleep was difficult for me to attain that night as all I could think about was, _Hannah and Beth_ ; but more so… _the errie feeling that came from the lodge._


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry everyone my laptop died and I had to wait and get a new one, and I had to redo the chapter I had already started! :( So sorry for the delay! Thank you for hanging on, I hope you all enjoy it.

 **Chris POV**

It seems like this coffee spot has been a safe haven through the holiday season, for us. Whenever life got hard we'd meet up grab a cup of Joe and talk to each other. Especially Sam she's had it hard, she told me about Josh's idea to go back to the lodge. I get it... If it'll help Josh deal with all his grief and help find closure, I'll be there with him. But Sam didn't feel the same way... She told him after Christmas that she couldn't do it. He didn't really react too well...

"Chris are you even listening?" Ashley says waving her hand in front of my face. I shake my head of the thoughts "Sorry I spaced for a second" she leaned in peering in my ears. "Yeah there is a lot of space in there" I turn to her and give her a dry laugh, and she giggled. "What were you thinking about?" She asks taking a sip of her coffee, I raise my brow at her "Now you want to know?" She places the cup on the table and turns to me "penny for your thoughts?" she was giving me those eyes, I can't resist. I sighed taking a deep breath "I was thinking about Sam..." Her gaze fell to her cup as she started fiddling with the cup holder wrapped around it. "I can't lie. I'm kind of with Sam on this, I can't imagine going back." I rub the back of my neck, "Yeah I know you and Sam are the only ones who need a little persuasion." She looks at me and looks away "I don't know how you say you would go back." I look at my cup and focus on it "I don't expect you to understand" she shook her head "That's exactly what is wrong with guys, you brush it off as we don't understand, instead of just asking. 'What can I do to change your mind, make you feel more comfortable. Jeez" she took a sip of her cup and placed it back on the table "I mean to be honest when we went to the lodge last year, we didn't expect to come back without two of our friends. What if we were to go back and we lose another..." I noticed her hand starting to shake on the table, as she bit her lip, most likely thinking of that night. I couldn't help myself, I placed my hand on her gently she stiffened at first obviously surprised but looked at me and then looked down averting my gaze. "It's okay Ash. Your right, if we go back we're definitely changing things up to make sure we're all safe." I moved my hand once she stopped trembling, _don't want to overdo it and come off as creepy._ "I think we should all at least think about it, Josh needs this and he can't do it alone." She pushed her lips out slightly pondering about what I said. She looked at me with a smirk on her face "When you put it like that, I guess it doesn't sound so bad."

As she lifted her coffee to her lips I see her eyes look above my head, then I heard a voice "What doesn't sound so bad" I hear Sam say from behind me. Ashley stands "I have to use the bathroom, coffee goes right through me" Sam giggles as she pulls out a chair and has a seat, "She was just saying how going back might not sound so bad" she immediately scoffed "traitor" I raise my brow "No coffee today?" She shakes her head no, "too much on my mind for caffeine." _Speaking of which_ "Have you seen to Josh lately?" She shrugs her jacket off "I've called and texted, but it seems like he's chosen to give me the silent treatment" I cross my arms, "But you haven't went over there?" She looks at me confused "If he hasn't returned my texts or calls that obviously means he doesn't want to see me." She said defensively. I look at my coffee for a moment "I don't believe that." Ashley comes back to the table and says "Don't believe what?" Sam says slightly pouting yet holding her stubborn tone, "That Josh doesn't want to see me." Ashley says while taking her seat "Well duh. Of course he does." I look at Ashley "Finally someone else who sees it." Sam rolls her eyes and leans back in the chair crossing her arms, she must obviously feel like we're attacking her.

"Josh is only not responding because he's upset because he wants all of us there with him; but he _needs_ you there, he loves you Sam." Ashley said to the now blushing Sam; but still sitting stubbornly crossing her arms, I gladly sipped my coffee letting Ashley do her _girl talk thing_. Anything I would've said, I would've came off as a dick. "I'm also pretty sure whether you decide to go or not, he's going; and that probably scares the shit out of him. But seeing you and talking to you is probably a reminder of how when its time, you won't be there. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be trying because whether he likes it or not, _he needs you still,_ he needs to see that theres something worth being here for." All I could do was nod, she took a deep breath "Guys, I get it, I don't want you to think that I didn't consider that, or know how he would react. I know what I said no to... But I think he just needs some space." Before I could stop myself I chimed in "Him or you?" She looked at me eyes wide then looked down, "Look Sam, we would never ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, But if I knew the person I love needed me, no matter what I'd be there." I shrugged sipping the last of my coffee then stood to put on my jacket. "Think about it, and even if your answer doesn't change, you don't have to lose each other along the way. We're all in this together whether we like it or not." I bowed to them and Sam looked away shrugging her shoulders, "On that note, I'm going to head out." Ashley looked at me and nodded, "See ya" as I threw out my empty cup and ventured into the cold.

There was still some snow left on the ground leftover from this morning, thankfully this time I got a parking spot outside the shop. I dig in my pocket for my keys as I'm walking up to the car I feel my phone vibrate. I push the button to unlock the door as I get inside closing the door, I take my phone out my pocket as I'm putting on my seatbelt and see a text from Josh.

Josh: Coming over?

Chris: Just left the shop, I'm heading out now.

Josh: Cool.

I walk inside Josh's house and noticed all the lights were off, all but one, I can see the faint glow from the stairs that he must be in his room. It was almost eery walking through the house this dark, almost like it was haunted. "Josh?" I call out walking up the stairs, no response, I turn once I reached the top of the stairs and head toward his room, "Josh?" I walk in his room and he's sitting at his desk riddled in papers everywhere. He has his head laying on the desk, like a mad scientist, a skinny one. _He's not eating_... He turns his head in my direction but still has his head laying on his arms. "Cochise." He says weakly, I walk over "Josh are you okay?" he leaned back in the chair "I'm good now that my broski's here." He says with a smile, "Josh I want you to be okay when I'm not here too." He rolls his eyes as he stands "Well I'm not, theres no hiding it." He says throwing his arms out exasperated, I put my hands up defensively. "Just tell me whats wrong Josh." He throws himself on his bed and grabs his pillow, while I take the chair he vacated near his desk. "For real Josh talk to me." He rolls over covering his eyes with his arm, "I'm fine" I respond "you said it yourself why hide it." He takes a deep breath moving his arm so he can look at the ceiling, "I feel like after I sent the invite to everyone, things changed." He covers his face with his arm

"Are we talking about everyone or Sam?" He stood silent, "Well I was just with her and Ash..." I cross my arms "If you really want her to go, acting like this isn't the way to go about it. Ask her what can you do to change her mind, to make her feel more comfortable, would be a better route . So I'm told." He covers his eyes again and stays silent, "Josh, just because she doesn't want to go back. Doesn't mean her feelings for you have changed, and if yours did because she said no; then you didn't really love her." He sat up "I do love her I would do anything for her! She obviously doesn't feel the same..." I lean forward in the chair "Josh that's not-" "true" we turned when we heard a voice at the door. Josh sat up eyes wide, then immediately his scowls "How are you just going to barge in here?" She walks further in the room, "Well if you would freaking look at your phone, I've texted and called, which you ignored! I obviously didn't need an invitation since you left the door unlocked." Josh glared at me "Yeah I should've locked it before coming up, that was my bad" I say raising my hand and standing. I look back at Josh "I'm going to head out and let you and Sam... talk." I nod at Sam on my way out and go in my pocket and realize Ashley text me.

Ashley: Sam's on her way to Josh's.

Chris: Just got the message, yeah she walked in when me and Josh were talking.

Ashley: Is that good or bad?

Chris: We'll have to wait and see.

I open the front door and twist the bottom lock to make sure it locks behind me when I shut the door. I head into my car, and pray they don't kill each other.

 **Sam POV**

As I head up the stairs I heard voices, when I reached the door I noticed it was cracked open, I place my hand on the door then froze. I heard Chris' voice saying "Josh, just because she doesn't want to go back. Doesn't mean her feelings for you have changed, and if yours did because she said no; then you didn't really love her." _Are they talking about me?_ "I do love her I would do anything for her! She obviously doesn't feel the same..." _What?_ My heart sank when those words left Josh's mouth. I hear Chris start "Josh that's not-" I couldn't let this continue my heart was beating out of my chest; as the word left my mouth opening the door "true" they turned and stared at the door. Josh had eyes wide, then immediately his scowls "How are you just going to barge in here?" I take a few steps in the room, "Well if you would freaking look at your phone, I've texted and called, which you ignored! I obviously didn't need an invitation since you left the door unlocked." Josh glared at Chris "Yeah I should've locked it before coming up, that was my bad" He says jokingly before leaving for us to talk.

Josh crossed his arms and sat on his bed looking out toward the window annoyed by my presence, I took a deep breath trying to slow my heart. Looking at him, I can tell he's not taking care of himself, but at the same time, I've allowed this for too long. "Josh I came here to tell you I'm sorry... I can't..." I can feel myself start to get emotional, but composed myself. "I'm sorry for allowing you to push me away when you needed me." He snorted "Don't think so highly of yourself." My stomach turned and my heart dropped slightly. _He doesn't mean it, Sam he's just upset._ "I actually like being alone, thank you very much." I took a step forward and he pulled his feet in closer to himself, "No one likes to be alone..." He crosses his arms over his legs and leans his forehead on his knees and says "Just leave me alone, Sam." I take another step forward "you don't mean that." he lifts his head up nodding "I actually do." I told myself when I came I wouldn't do this, but I can feel myself on the brink of tears. I look up trying to stop the tears from falling but turn my back to him so he won't see. I start to speak, but hear my voice starting to break "I can't go back... I'm sorry." I wiped the tears that slid down my face despite my efforts to avoid this. I walk out the door, and start to heard down the stairs, wiping my tears with my sleeves. I open the front door and look up the stairs at the dim glow coming from his room, I turned and closed the door behind me and started to head outside. I dip my hands in my pockets and start to walk forward, as I can feel the tear stains start to cool over my cheeks. As my foot touched the sidewalk, the front door swung open "Sam!" I turn around and see him standing at the doorway shaking, I turned trying to wipe away the tears, "Come back inside" I crossed my arms raising my brow at him "So I can get yelled at? No thanks." He rolled his eyes and said "So we can talk..." I paused for a moment looking further down the road, contemplating what to do.

I can see my huff of breath as smoke in the air as I begrudgingly walk back toward the house. I walked inside as he closed the door behind me, I didn't take my jacket off, I stood there with my arms crossed; refusing to look in his eyes. "Look at me Sam..." He says and I comply and my heart sinks, "Sam...I'm sorry." I uncross my arms "Josh I-" he raises his hand "Please let me." I nod signaling for him to continue. "I'm sorry, if you don't want to go to the lodge, you don't have to... I guess I already had a plan in my head of how I wanted everything to go; and without you there for me it wouldn't be complete..." He took a step forward "I know I can't change the way you feel, but I guess I just want you to understand how _I_ feel." I nod not wanting to interrupt him, he looked down clenching his fists "Since it's been almost a year that they've been gone, it's been sinking in that they may be dead." My heart sank and I immediately felt a lump in my throat saying "They can't-" but stopped once I felt myself get emotional. He continued "Going back is my closure... of knowing that being there one more time is the closest I will get to my sisters again." I wanted to reach out to him and comfort him, but I know that wouldn't help him. If I comfort him now it will be harder for him when he goes and I'm not there. "I'm sorry" it's all I could say, changing my answer was not an option. "Don't apologize, I was being a dick because you have been with me throughout it all, I just thought..." I don't know what came over me, I went over to him and gave him a hug, I couldn't help it.

I wrap my arms around him as I feel his wrap around me squeezing gently, I can feel him shaking still. _What am I doing?_ "Josh... I'll go ... for you." He pulled away slightly but still held his arms around me, "Sam you don't have to-" I raised my hand silencing him. I leaned back I looked up at him and said "I want to..." I pulled him back in for a hug and I can hear him say "Thank you" while kissing the top of my head. Although I know what I'm doing is right, somewhere deep inside me felt like this was a bad idea...


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while. I'm going to be finding more time to write. I was put on Game of Thrones and spent a like two months catching up, on top of summer vacation and now school starting for my kids; it's been busy. But now that things will be calm, I'm going to finish this story along with another one I started and hopefully start a GOT one. YAY!**

 **I've been thinking about it and I want to do my scenes slightly different than that of the game. Obviously my characters are in a different mind set and have different relationships than what is in the game. Anyway don't want to spoil you all; on what you came here to read...Enjoy!**

* * *

 **CHRIS POV**

The road seemed longer than I remember, last year felt like I got there quick and now I feel like the road is going on for miles. I notice my anxiety is peaking since my left leg is shaking accompanied with the nagging urge to bite my nails. _Maybe I'm not ready to face it yet, maybe this is a mistake._.. I hear a vibration from my cup holder and know I got a message.

I reach for it while keeping my eyes on the road and unlocking it from memory. I select my messages knowing where the app lies and glance at it, seeing Sam's name at the top.

 _Sam: Did you see the video?_

 _Chris: Yeah I did, before I left the house..._

I look down quickly before clicking send to make sure it was free of any spelling errors. With my eyes back on the road I notice a turn coming up, my phone vibrated again but I put the phone down in the cup holder briefly. In this moment I notice the terrain around me changing slowly, the yellow grass in my peripherals starts to show patches of snow which means I'm close to my destination. My thoughts are racing but I try to shake it off so I can focus on the road. I take a deep breath and chant to myself mentally ' _This is for Josh'_. I grab my phone again and notice Sam replied.

 _Sam: I feel sick coming back._

I nod at my phone mentally agreeing with the response, when I looked up there was something in the road; I slammed on my brakes. I closed my eyes feeling the car push forward at the force of the sudden halt. When I opened them, I felt my heart racing and I looked ahead at the herd of large deer in front of me. One menacingly looking at me a mere inches from the front of the car. It takes me a few minutes to get myself together, I ran my hand through my hair letting go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Once I got my bearings I grabbed my phone and text Sam,

 _Chris: Theres a family of deer on the road..._

 _Sam: Honk at them or wait it out._

Hmm...I could honk at them but that could possibly piss them off or I could wait however long and hopefully they move soon. I decided to wait it out, _sometimes you just don't want to mess with nature._ I sat there texting Sam about my predicament and how she's feeling about coming back, I try my best to ease her mind; as well as my own. I notice most of the deer have moved on but there are a few that are lingering, particularly on the side of the road I need. I sigh and look at my phone as it vibrates.

 _Ashley: Where you at slow poke?_

I couldn't help but smile while I looked at her name, I leaned back and replied.

 _Chris: I'm close but the roads blocked. Smh._

 _Ashley: Well Jess an I are about to go up in the cable car. See you soon then!_

After a few more minutes the herd finally moved on, and I sped the rest of the way since I was basically the only one on this road. I hadn't realized how close I was till I reached the bottom of the trail 20 minutes after clearing the herd. I parked my car then hopped out throwing my phone in my backpack and heading up the path, after seeing Josh's note I hopped the gate and waited at the cable station since Sam let me know she wasn't too far behind.

I went around back looking around the old shooting range. I grabbed the gun and noticed the cans littered around with targets. I lined it up with with a target and took a deep breath and let off a few, it was almost therapeutic. After a while I heard the faint scrunching of the snow in the distance so I put the gun down and went to go check it out. Turning the corner I see Sam near my back pack almost like she wants to peek, I take a couple steps forward and she must've heard me as she turned suddenly. "Hello" I say looking at her with my arms folded, she says "I heard your phone vibrate, but I didn't look" she holds her hands up defensively. I walk over to her with my chin high, "uh huh... but you wanted to." It was a statement, she didn't deny it. I walk over and pat her on her back, "its probably just Ashley, if you must know." I say with a smile. She turns following me toward the door and started singing "oooooh Chris and Ashley sitting in a tree" I wave her off before grabbing the doorknob unlocking it with the key Josh gave me and pulling the door open, "It's not like that" I walk in with her right behind me and she pouts "so your not going to make your move?". We walked over to the cable car and and I sat down, "I want to but I just don't know if it will make things awkward if she doesn-." She cut me off "Just do it" before walking all the way in she leaned against the frame and looked almost like she is was taking a deep breath trying to compose herself.

"Sam?" I say quietly, she looks over at me still leaning on the frame, I almost know what she's feeling because I can feel it too. "Is it horrible to say that I'm happy to be back? But also feel guilty for feeling that way" I know exactly how she felt, I've spent the past few weeks talking to Josh about how I should tell Ashley how I feel since we're going to be here for a week. But at the same time this is the same place that took my friends, it doesn't feel right partying having a good time while were here. When I look around all I see is Hannah and Beth, but I also remember there smiles and laughs when we were here... "I'd like to think they would want us to celebrate them, instead of being miserable." _Optimism_ it's what I try to lean toward now-a-days. Sam walks in the cable car and the doors close and right before it starts moving, I randomly had a thought. "Hey you wanna know how me and Josh met?"

* * *

 **SAM POV**

Sitting in front of the lodge isn't exactly what I had in mind when first arriving, Josh and Chris walked around the lodge trying to find another way in since the lock was frozen. Ashley and I sat on the stairs huddling to stay warm, I look up and see Matt and Emily cozied up against a tree. "So are you and Josh cool?" Ashley said not fully looking at me. I hesitated before answering thinking of the past few months, I've barely seen him to be honest. He's been so busy planning for this trip although I was kind of happy to see him distracted, I didn't want to put a damper on him if he would've seen on my face that I was second guessing myself the closer we got to it. I shake my head "We haven't spoken really... other than the occasional text. I tried to see him a few times but he was passed out..." she turns her head "Maybe he's planning something special." She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, "Maybe planning a little something, something" she elbows me playfully. "Maybe..." I say hopeful "we haven't had sex since he got out the hospital. We've talked and hung out here and there since then obviously but he hasn't made a move yet." I sigh seeing a cloud of smoke exit my mouth "I feel like I'm back at square one" Ashley leaned her head on my shoulder of course she can empathize with her and Chris still at the step one of on step ones. "We both need to woman up and take what we want." She leans up to look at me, before she can even respond I look up to see Josh walking back up the path without Chris, I can see the lingering of a smile as he walks up to us.

As he approaches us I see from the other path, Mike and Jess come down laughing, passing by Emily and Matt and straight for us. Ashley and I stand to give Jess a hug and Mike heads for Josh throwing his arm around him "Hey guys!" Jess says, Mike walks Josh away from us before he reached us completely and starts talking in a low voice. I heard Jess ask how we've been but I let Ashley answer first, for some reason I couldn't get my eyes off of him. I felt very sensitive to his presence when he's around now, like every nerve is alive and waiting for him to notice me. I mean we spoke when we got here but I don't know he just seemed distant. Jess grabbed her arms obviously feeling the cold now that it seems to be getting slightly darker, "Why are we not in there?" she says pointing at the lodge, shivering I chatter out "Locks frozen" Mike walks up to the door bending over inspecting it "Let me give it a shot" Jess rolls her eyes while smiling, "Give it a shot, Macho Man" we turn and watch his attempt as he tries to budge it. We suddenly hear some clatter inside and realize Chris must've found a way in. We hear Chris' voice on the other side, "Almost got it!" I smile "Finally!" After a moment the door flies open with some creature darting straight for me and Ashley, I turn quickly moving aside for it to run by losing my footing slightly with all the snow, and I felt him behind me. He gently placed his hands on my shoulders holding me from falling, I feel myself blush deeply as I felt his chest behind me when he pulled me closer. Everyone started to file in carrying bags, I heard mumbles from Emily saying it took us long enough. I turned and looked up at him, he was smiling at me and asked "You okay Sammy?", I wasn't exactly sure to which he was referring to, almost falling or being here... I just nodded my head "Yeah... I'm fine..." His smile starts to dissipate, "That didn't sound convincing" I knew he was right but he didn't press the issue, "I just want to thank you for coming Sam...I just want you to know how much it means to me for you to be here... for me." He always had this way of making my heart leap with just the things he says. But I had to get something off my chest, "well you have a weird of showing it..." He looked taken back, and responded "hows that?" I smirked while I picked up my bag and said, "I think your smart enough to figure it out" and walked in the lodge.

* * *

After the argument, Mike and Jess headed to there isolated cabin not far from the lodge. I tried to talk to Em and was able to calm her down somewhat so we can have a good first night. Anxiety levels are high as it is, no need to add fuel to the fire.

After all that I wanted to take a bath and of course there was no hot water. Josh and I had to venture into the creepy basement. Well, getting him alone is a perk at least. Maybe I can finally get a chance to talk to him one on one. We walked down the stairs as he was talking about spirits and ouji boards wasn't easing my mind at all, we reached the cabinets and he started inspecting them with his flashlight "Just get me some hot water and I'll be super fine" I finally say showing fear in my voice. "I mean I wouldn't want you coming down here on your own ya know?" He says looking closer at the pump with his flashlight. "Well it's definitely creepy down here" he walked over to the switch panel and said, "Yep not a place to be on your own" he says stoically, it's feels like he's trying to rile me up on purpose. I start to wonder "are we okay Josh?" His brows furrowed but he didn't turn to face me, "I'm fine if that's what you're asking." I cross my arms "No... I mean with me?" I don't know why it sounded like a question but thats how it came out, I see him look down and do a half smile. Then it faded "Correction then, _we're_ fine." I wasn't sure if I should press the issue anymore, he didn't seem like he was ready to open up. I walk over to the other side and notice the baseball bat along the side and pick it up and figured I'd try to lighten the mood I do a slow swing in the air walking back over to him "pretty rough playing baseball in all that snow" he turned and saw the bat in my hand and smiled, he reached out while I handed it to him "No it wasn't in the winter silly, I mean we'd come up in the summer and we would have the best time. The whole family was there mom, dad" he paused I knew why "my sisters" he looked at the bat. After a moment he looked back at me and continued "It was some serious competition out there on the big lawn" his smile started to dissipate and he placed the bat against the tank and said, "I don't know I can't go back. New reality" he says as if he's heard it many times before. I don't say anything, I think he needed that moment as if snapping back to reality he walks back over to the switch panel "I'm supposed to be fixing this whole guy right." He flips the switch a couple of times but we ended up fixing it together and got it to work, and we finished it with a high five. I heard some noise and I whipped around with the flashlight scanning the room, "you really are freaked out aren't you?" he says I can hear the smile as he says it. I ignore his statement "you didn't hear that?" He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a half smile "it could be a lot of things, none of them nice" he says brushing his fingers gently on my shoulder giving me chills. I turn quickly and say "quit it" my heart was racing for fear and _him_ and if I got another reason I might die of a heart palpitation. He does a big smile... it seems he enjoys when I'm scared. "I'm just- I'm just joshing ya..." I couldn't help but use my sarcastic laugh but then look around cautiously, he notices. "Wow, you really are freaked out." Before I couldn't even answer I turn when I hear a loud bang and I literally jumped back into Josh slightly "you hear that right?" I say without looking at him. I scanned the room with the flashlight trying to figure out where the noise came from. He steps to the side and starts to walk in front of me, I suddenly feel behind me exposed so I step forward walking beside him. "Maybe _we_ should check it out" he immediately says "why" I quickly thought to myself is he scared? "Maybe it's a pipe thats about to burst or some problem with the furnace" he turns to me "not likely" but we press forward anyway I grab his arm gently letting my fear show "if it were me I wouldn't want this place to down on my watch" he just nods "yeah right" we push forward and all I saw was a shadowy figure jump forward I yanked Josh back and he immediately turned and started running and I was hot on his tail. I didn't get a good look at what we were running from but all I knew was my heart was about to burst from the sudden shot of adrenaline. We shot up the stairs and Josh was finding the key to unlock the door and I was trying to force it open but to no avail. "Why is the door locked!" He turns shielding me with one arm as we hear someone coming up the stairs, "to keep out strangers" the figure walks up the stairs with its arms up saying what sounded like "heyyy" I let go of the door leaning forward to try and see inside the hood and I can barely make it out and just opt to say, "What the hell!" And with that the hooded figure removes his hood to reveal "Chris!" I look between him and Josh exasperated "Why the hell would you do that?" Chris points toward the basement "Theres a box of all this cool movie props, was I not supposed to take advantage of the opportunity?" I was so angry I thought we were about to- "Are you - are you serious?" I look at Josh and push him in the shoulder "were you in on this putz?" He smiles but puts his hands up defensively "No I wasn't, but I wish I was, that was too good." He gives Chris a high five, they open the door and Chris walks out first and I hear Ashley make a comment on his costume. As I was walking out I felt a tug on my jacket, I turned and before I even knew what happened, I was in his arms as he pulled me in for a kiss. Even while I'm angry and high on adrenaline, his lips on mine made me feel at ease. He place his hand on the side of my face and tilted it to him so he can get a better angle. I knew what he wanted and happily obliged allowing our tongues to clash, I pulled his on plaid shirt slightly bringing him closer to me and I felt him smile. We did this till I realized that I needed to breath, I pulled away feeling every nerve ending on alert. He lifted my chin to meet his face "maybe we'll finish this later?" I just nodded, and he opened the door and motioned for me to go first and said "your bath awaits."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for continuing to read this if you still are, like I said I'm going to come back to writing . I will take turns between writing chapters between the 2 stories I'm trying to finish. But I'm here guys don't think I'm far or that I've abandoned my story in anyway.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Lemon in this chapter! Like we don't have enough already? Well once all the action starts I doubt they will be time for it later. So with that being said enjoy!**

* * *

 **Josh POV**

After our kiss I could still taste her in my mouth... It was the only thing keeping me grounded. I lie in my bed taking a deep breath, being so close with her in the basement was difficult for me. I had _him_ nagging in the back of my mind, so it was hard to focus. _But I've missed her..._ I know I've been pushing her away; because its whats best for her right now, even if she just doesn't see it yet. _But seeing her_... is harder than I thought it was going to be, she can always sense when somethings wrong. Which is why I've kept my distance, she knows me better than anyone...

I hear a voice... _does she?_ When _he_ talks it feels like nails on a chalkboard, every time. I tried to ignore it, by trying to focus my thoughts on Sam, but he overpowers it. I tried to fight it by ignoring him, but he knows I'm there, so he pushes his question, _does she know about me?_ I shook my head, I wasn't sure if I was shaking my head at the question or an attempt physically shake him out of my mind. "Leave me alone!" I finally say aloud, I can hear him sneer as he says _don't lose sight of why we came_. I grab one of the pillows and cover my face "I know, now can you please leave." There was a silence, I didn't hear a sly remark or an insult, just silence. It's rare when I have these moments, just me and **my** thoughts.

I've tried to stop myself multiple times, but theres something deep rooted that keeps pulling me back in. I walk over to my luggage and pop one of my pills, its rare when I take them but I when I do, he stays at bay for a while. Which is what I need around my friends and _her._.. to be normal. I stare at the bottle, it's still fairly new. Chris had ripped me a new one about my pills one day when he noticed... I was talking to _myself._ So I refilled them and started taking them for a little while but it only helps temporarily, thats all I need... all I deserve. _This is my karma_...

Before I could finish my thought I hear a knock on my door, I toss my pill bottle in my bag and push it down the side and say "come in". As I look up I see the door opening and Chris peek his head in. "What's up man!" I say smiling. He walks all the way in closing the door behind him. He half smiles "nothing I was just thinking about what we were talking about earlier.." I walk over to my bed and sat on the edge "refresh my memory" I say crossing my arms. "About Ashley..." He says rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hands, I shake my head and stand, placing my hands on his shoulders. "Chris you like her and she definitely has the hots for you" he smiled but it faded "I don't know man, what if she rejects me and its awkward for the rest of the weekend" I know how he feels because that's how I felt about Sam. I walk around him in a circle slowly saying "He who is not courageous enough to take risks, will accomplish nothing in life." And whisper in his ear "Muhammad Ali" Chris backs away and says "What does that even mean?" He says throwing his hands in the air. I place one hand on his shoulder and try to reassure him "you have nothing to worry about, everything will be fi-" We suddenly hear a female voice calling out in the hall "Josh! Theres no service!" We roll our eyes knowing it's Emily. I tell Chris "Go find her alone and just talk to her. Pay attention to how she looks at you... how she reacts to you and you'll see. When you see the moment be sure to stare into her eyes longingly." I say laughing near the end, he says rolling his eyes "Fine, I'll try."

* * *

 **Chris POV**

After leaving Josh's room I was still trying to talk myself into making a move on Ashley, I was in my room rehearsing different scenarios of how it could go; changed my clothes like four times. I walk out my room and down the hall to where her room is. My heart feels like its rattling in my ribcage, I placed my hand on my chest; thinking I can muffle the noise, that only I can hear. Just knowing that this conversation could be the beginning... or the end. I walk by her room and shake my head, _I can't do it,_ and start walking away _..._ I turn around back toward her door when I felt a little resolve appear, _now or never._ I raise my hand to knock on the door and turn heading downstairs muttering to myself and quickly heading to the kitchen "I can't" I say to myself aloud.

I look up and felt my heart leap in my throat, she was standing at the counter chopping vegetables "Ash" I say walking in, _smooth._ She looks up and gives me a beaming smile "Hey Chris" she turned her attention backed to her chopping, my mind is going blank as I walk over to her. "Uh.. What cha doing?" I mentally slapped myself, _I have no game._ The closer I got to her, my eyes couldn't help but travel. She was wearing long knee socks with a blue and red stripe at the top with a long blue shirt and black shorts. As she said "chopping, Emily is gonna make a stir fry" she reached for a new pepper to chop and I saw the shorts rise slightly; I bit my lip... _fuck, she doesn't ever make this easy_. My eyes shoot up to hers... she looks so...beautiful _._ "you look good." She looked up at me and said "Huh?" I clear my throat "I said, sounds good... uh- so where is Emily?" _Nice save._ I walk a bit closer to her leaning on the counter, _I need to get it together._ She pauses for a moment looking up at me and said "Complaining on the lack of service and looking for board games." As we look at each other, I can see the faintest blush on her cheeks, which made me smile. "Maybe she'll find the ouji board, that Josh mentioned earlier." I say as her eyes went back to chopping, she shrugs "Maybe she wil-" I hear her wince pulling her hand away "Shit!" I look down and see a few drops of blood land on the counter, "Are you okay?" I lean off the counter as she cups her hand and we walk over to the sink. "It's just a cut" She says as she positions her hands under the faucet and I turn the water on cold, "hold it there for a minute" she nods while wincing. I start opening the drawers looking for a first aid kit "I know theres one around here...Bingo" I grab the handle and bring it over; I pop it open grabbing a bandaid and some alcohol wipes, she smiles at me "When did you become a doctor?" I cross my arms "I did play operation a lot as a kid. Does that count?" I say smirking. She turns off the water and grabs a paper towel, "I'm pretty sure that doesn't count" she says drying her cut gently. I grab one of the alcohol wipes and rip it open and prep the bandaid. "Well it definitely should count, the wishbone is the hardest one to take out" She laughs placing the paper towel on the counter "If you had a wish bone, what would you wish for?" I put my hand out, but look at her for a reaction... She looks at my hand out and bites her lips for literally one second, if I wasn't looking at her I wouldn't have saw it. I felt her cold hand in my warm palm, "Hmmm...my wish..." I look down and see a little blood pool at her cut I look at her before I wipe it, she looks at me and nods. _Here goes_ "My only wish is-" I press and wipe in one swift movement and she winces biting down on her lip groaning. "-to kiss you..." I place the wipe down and grab the bandaid and start wrapping it around her cut. I look at her and she was already looking at me, as I said "all better" smiling, she blushed deeply. I took Josh's advice and stared into her green eyes _longingly_ , I couldn't help the butterflies in my chest or is that my heart rattling in my ribs again. She looked up at me and I saw her gaze look from my eyes to my lips, I started to lean in; she looks like she was holding her breath...

"Ash look what I found!" Emily says rounding the corner quickly, we both turn to her as she holds a pink box. She stops and looks at us "Am I interrupting?... I can come back if you want..." I look at Ashley and lower our hands "I'll... uh... see you later" she smiles and nods "yeah...later..." I walk past Emily "She's all yours" I turn the corner out of sight and I see Matt turning to head down the stairs so I start walking toward him and say "whats up man?" He nods obviously still a little heated from the argument earlier, "nothing, is Em down there?" I turn and point toward the kitchen "Her and Ash are about to make dinner." He puts a hand on my shoulder "Alright thanks man" I look back over at him, "You sure your okay?" He nods smiling a little, "Yeah I'm good..." He starts heading down the stairs and walks into the kitchen "Em your _rodeo_ bag is no where up there" and I continue up the stairs, and pause at the top of the steps glancing at the kitchen and hear Matt yelling at Emily about not going out its too dark out, I shake my head as I head to my room.

* * *

 **Sam POV**

After I took a bath and went into my room to change, Ashley text me saying her and Em cooked dinner and they found a game we could all play. I opt for something comfortable some red plaid pajama shorts and a red tank top. I head down the stairs, now that we have all the fires going the lodge feels nice and warm and almost homey. I walked into the kitchen and see everyone sitting around eating and talking minus Mike and Jess, since they're at there own cabin not far from the lodge.

There were a couple of seats left, I grabbed my helping of food and sat in the seat next to Ashley versus the empty one next to Josh. I pull out the sit in across from him and sit; I was still annoyed of how he and Chris pranked me earlier. We make eye contact when I sat, he raised an eyebrow and nods his head, _I can't make it easy for him._ I sit with my plate and join the conversation, we all talked and laughed while we ate; until Emily whispered something in Ashley's ear who smiled and nodded at her and with a big grin, Emily took off to the other room "I don't like secrets I call out to her" and gently push Ashley in her shoulder. Chris turned to Ashley "Should we be afraid of whatever she went to go get?" Ashley smiled, "we're about to find out" she said with a mischievous smile. Emily enters with a tall pink box that had "Jenga" written on it and tall bottle of vodka. I was confused at first it looked like the box was painted and decorated but when she took the top off and flipped it, looking at the container closely and how it had stickers and on it I realized it must've been Hannah's. I glanced over at Josh and he didn't seemed phased by it, he's doing surprisingly well; unless he's hiding how he's not doing well.

When she lifted the box a few fell over and realized Hannah wrote on them, I glanced at a few of them, but Ashley spoke first "This is a drinking game?" I wasn't sure how to feel since we were drinking _that night too._ Matt spoke up "Why not? We don't have to get hammered... it's just a little fun before bed." We glanced at Josh and he was rubbing his hands together and said with a smile "lets do this!"

* * *

The pieces were definitely Hannah's doing, they were filled with Truths and Dares, and even partner dares. The tower is sturdy but the gaps are more dangerous and we have to be very careful. We've all had our share of shots with the bottle halfway gone, and Chris and I lost our shirts. Ashley was giving me a lap dance which I noticed Chris watching her very intensely. He licked his lips looking at her, as she ground her hips into me. I smile and look across and see Josh staring at me with a smirk, I couldn't help but feel my heart race. "Okay time!" Emily says Ashley goes back to her seat and I can tell she's very tipsy since she seems more playful than normal. "30 seconds is longer than it feels." She says laughing, "my turn" I say looking for a block to pull out, I reach and grab one from the end carefully and slide it out. "So... close..." Emily says as I pull the remaining portion out and we all stare at the tower as it wavers slightly but settles. "Phew" I look at the block "It says 'Chicks'" Ashley raises her glass "Come on ladies!" We cheers our plastic cups and take it down, I'm definitely feeling it but trying to pace myself. Emily winces after the shot and points at Josh "Your turn" Matt whispers something in Emily's ear and she says in a harsh whisper "I'm fine" Josh reaches forward and pushes one out and grabs it from the other side easily taking a block without the tower wavering. He smiles, and flashes his block before placing the block on top of the tower he says "take a body shot off" and the arrow points up which would be _me_. I look at the table, "we can't up here, we'll knock over the game" Matt pauses for a moment searching the room, "How about the counter?" he says pointing behind them. I look at Josh he shrugged as he pushes his chair back standing and grabs the bottle. I follow suit and meet him over there, I can hear Ashley and Emily giggling. I hop up on the counter and lie down, the counter is cold with no shirt and I couldn't help but arch away from it. He looks at my chest and licks his lips, I felt my heart beating out my chest, _I miss him so much._ I can feel him pour the cool liquid in my belly button, I squeal as it fills and spills over "its cold" I say whining. I hear them start laughing, he holds my hips so I don't spill it all, "don't be such a baby" He leans down and his mouth is warm on my stomach I can feel his tongue lap the liquid in my belly button, his eyes are closed as he assaults me with his tongue. I closed my eyes and for a moment, savoring the moment; until the warmth on my belly faded as he pulled away. But the warmth further south was set ablaze. He wiped his mouth and looked at me, while our friends were cheering in the background he said in a whisper "Just as sweet as I remember" I blushed and he helped me off the counter, before I moved he placed his hand on mine; at the sudden touch I looked up at him. He stepped forward so we were close, "meet me in my room later" _it wasn't a question._ He turned toward our seats, I felt myself get excited but tried not to show it on my face. We went around another two more times before Matt knocked it down and decided to drag a drunk Emily upstairs.

* * *

I went to my room and paced the floor for about 20 mins, deliberating if I should go or not... Josh makes me crazy, one second he wants me and the other he'll practically ignore me for months. I feel the liquor kick in, not where I can say I'm drunk but I'm definitely not sober. I really want to ask him why he's avoids me some days and wants me to come over others but doesn't answer the door. When I'm tipsy like this I can help where my mind wanders to, and right now I'm thinking about his tongue. I see flashes of the body shot and I close my eyes thinking of the feeling he gave me in the tent. I look at myself in the mirror and I look... comfortable. I take my hair out of my clip and let my hair loose fluffing it slightly with my fingers at the roots so it didn't look so flat, and take my tank top off and I decide to change it all. I put on black and pink bra and thong. I turn making sure it looks good at all angles, I search through my bag and find my pink robe and some body spray; I do two sprays and walk under it and wrap myself in the robe and tie it. I look at myself in the mirror and feel satisfied, his room isn't far from mine but I also don't want to get spotted sneaking into his room, I have to get by Chris' room undetected. I open my door and peer around, _coast is clear_. I quietly close my door behind me with the faintest click, and start to tip toe pass his door. I hesitate for a split second when I hear muffled talking in Chris' room, I try to go slowly without the floor creaking, to make it to the door at the end of the hall.

I close the door behind me gently, I turn I'm the foyer before reaching his bedroom door, I took a deep breath as I walked over to his door. Before I knock I loosened the the tie on my robe and I raise my hand to the door and knocked twice. I hear some stirring inside before he opens it wide and motions for me to come in. I walk in and see he has no shirt on, just black sweatpants, that are hanging dangerously low on his hip, he turns closing the door behind me, and locking it. It made my heart jump knowing we were alone in here, _just the two of us._ I look around the room and notice he has a large king size bed that looks so comfortable; shutters closed, but has couple candles lit, so he can see. "I didn't think you were going to come." I heard his voice come closer as he spoke, I feel him press against my back wrapping his arms around me, "I'm glad you came" he whispered in my ear and start trailing kisses from my ear to my neck. I immediately start reacting to him allowing him more access. "Josh..." I feel him smirk as he continued planting kisses down my shoulder. There was so much I wanted to say before it came to this, but all of that melted away... it didn't matter. One day at a time was the agreement, and with his loss he can have days where he wants to be alone and it doesn't change how we feel about each other. No matter how long it is between our talks, we'll always pick up where we left off. Which we usually just end up getting lost in each other...

I loosen the tie on my robe and open it allowing him to help pull down the sleeves and let it fall to the ground. I felt a cool breeze cross my skin, giving me chills, his hands land on my waist and he nudges me to turn and face him. When I am I place my arms on his shoulders, with my hands gently rubbing the back of his neck, he pulls me closer as my body presses against him. He smiles down and says "Missed me?" I tilt my head looking at his lips "maybe a little..." He leans down hovering just above my lips, I know what he was waiting for... I push on my feet and close the distance from our lips, it was slow almost hesitant. I let one hand slide from his neck to the front of his chest, as I smile into our kiss. Once we were in sync, I tilt my head to the side and he knew. His hand moved from my waist to the small of my back and I arched deeper into him, his tongue grazed my lip and I gladly allowed it entry. It was intoxicating to be here with him like this, just us and the mountain. My hand continues to travel... until it reaches a hard bulge and he groans deepening the kiss. His hands lower and grips the back of my thighs and lifts me up, I wrap my legs around him and my hand raises back to his neck to not break our kiss. I feel him lay me down on the soft bed, and I relax my legs at his side, I can feel the heat of it. Instinctively, I lift my hips and gently grind against him. _I've waited so long, I want him now._ He pulls his waist away, so I can't feel the heat of it anymore and leaves me cold, I feel his warm hand travel up to my breast and I arch into his touch. Wherever he touched its like the skin he touches lights on fire, while I arched I reached behind myself unhooking it. When he felt the fabric loosen he immediately slid his hand under it, feeling the softness of my breasts. He finds my nipple and squeezes it gently between to fingers, I moan into our kiss. Breathless he pulls away, and I look up into his dark eyes his brows are furrowed almost like he's torn. I didn't want to ask; I just wanted to make it better. I just kissed him on the cheek and said "I love you, Josh" his eyes grew wide, I didn't care if he doesn't feel the same, I pulled him in for another kiss before he could respond. Mostly because I was afraid of what he would say, if he doesn't feel the same, and I didn't want to ruin this moment... I just wanted him to know.

He didn't respond he just met my kiss with equal fervor, and continued kneading my breast. I pulled the straps of my bra off and slid it out from between us. I felt a weight lifted from my chest, it was so freeing. He breaks our kiss and lowers his mouth and engulfs a nipple grazing it against his teeth, I hiss "Joshhh" He switches between my breasts nibbling as I'm moaning and writhing underneath him. I feel his fingers rub my sex through my thong. "Please..." But his attack on my body was relentless... Until I felt him move the fabric to the side and I feel the tip of his finger at my entrance. I wanted to push myself onto him but know he will hold me, I try to be still as I feel him pump the tips in and out of me.

Josh knows everything about me, he knows what makes me laugh and smile, and best of all he knows all my buttons that feel good when pushed by him, in a way only he knows how. I didn't notice his assault on my breasts had ended, I placed a hand on each of them kneading them once I felt a warmth on my- "oh!" I say as he moves his fingers deeper inside and his mouth finds my clit. My legs become jello and fall to the wayside, I feel the vibration of his groan on my clit sending jolts somewhere deep inside that feels like its going to burst. He presses deeper into me and I can feel every stroke, I clench the walls squeezing his fingers In turn he spread them scissoring inside me. I feel him smile and start nibbling on my clit, I buck my hips "fuck... Josh!" I start bouncing on his fingers pressing deep, meeting his thrusts. He continued pumping in and out but removed his mouth from clit and looked up at me as I was moaning his name, his eyes are black with desire. I can see him lean above me using as his free hand to prop himself up.. He leans down and captures my lips and gaining entry immediately, I can taste myself on his tongue. I still feel myself clenching so hard my toes are starting to curl. I reach my hands down to rub my clit as he continues pumping into me, as I felt myself close. I can't help but try to press myself deeper onto him, then he sped up. I can hear the smacking sound his hand is making against my wetness, I feel my back arch as I roll my eyes back, feeling myself release onto his fingers. He removed his fingers when he felt my body relax, I felt him lean back and pull down his pants his erection springing free. I feel myself get excited looking at him, I bit my lip eyeing him as he looked between my legs and lines his hot erection against my entrance. He crawls up my body and looks at me, he stares into my eyes for a moment, it was almost hypnotizing as he slowly buries himself filling me. _Finally._ I can feel him throbbing inside of me; it's almost like he's a drug. He slowly starts speed up, letting out a guttural groan as he fully pressed into me. After a couple minutes of our throes of passion, he grabs one of my legs and lifts pushing in deeper, my eyes shot open, the way he is looking at me it seems almost like it's a primal side to Josh. He's pressing into me so deep like he's trying to find my center, and at this rate he just might find it. I lift my other leg to match the one he holds and feel him speed up, our skin slapping together loudly, I can't control the volume of my moans, as he slams into me. I feel myself clench as I felt myself releasing on him again, "Josh I'm-!" I yell arching my back feeling its spill our of me. He slowed as I was coming down from my orgasm.

He pulls out and kisses my forehead briefly and leans back looking at me breathing heavily, he stands and says "flip over" I raise my brows at the request but comply. I know what he wanted, I was on my hands and knees near the edge of the bed, he placed his erection at my entrance and pushed into me groaning. He placed his hands on my hips as he pressed deeply into me. Once he was fully engulfed, I start to gently push into his thrusts allowing him confidence to speed up. I feel myself slowly clenching him, "Fuck Sam" he says throwing his head back and he pulls me closer and deeper onto him. "Josh please..." _I need him_ , I lean down pushing my lower body higher as he spread me, then pushed so deep into me, I pulled away feeling like he was pressing into a wall. But he pulled me back into him, "Don't run" he says then began slamming into the spot feeling like he wanted to break through. I clawed the sheets moaning loudly, he held strong continuously slamming into me. "Faster" I was able to say between moans, and he gripped my hips hard as he pressed forward at a faster pace. I can feel myself tensing as my walls squeezed him inside me, he groaned loudly as his thrusts became erratic and I felt myself dripping as I orgasmed around him again. After a few final thrusts he buries himself to the hilt inside me and I feel his member swell as he empties himself inside me. Once he was done I crawled up the bed and got under the blanket lying on my back breathing hard, he grabbed his sweat pants and pulled them up and laid beside me under the blanket. Neither of us said anything for a while, I guess we didn't want to ruin the moment. When he finally broke the silence "Did you mean it?", I knew he was going to bring it up. I roll on my side facing him and see he's on his back looking at the ceiling, I don't answer right away, which makes him look over at me. I prop myself on my elbow and say "Yes" he smirks wrapping his arms around me so I can lay on his chest, I can hear his heart beating fast as he says "I love you too Sammy". I smiled and just lie there with him tangled in the sheets, until we both passed out.

* * *

Faintly in the back of my mind I heard a woman's voice "Anyone out there?!" Is it possible that it sounds close but far at the same time? "Hello?!" My eyes shoot open as I realize I recognize the voice, look around my heart racing, _Hannah_. I see Josh is fast asleep beside me, he's laying on his stomach and has one arm across me. I look around the room and the alarm clock read 5:45am, I notice some of the candles have burned out and the room is dark. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in, _must've been a dream._

Just then I heard a loud thud which causes me now to sit up staring in the direction the noise came from, but this time, Josh was jolted awake as well. "What the fuck was that?" He says sleepily, "it came from outside" I say pointed in the direction I heard it. He rubbed his eyes and got up sluggishly walking over to the window. He opened one of the shutters and leaned against the glass trying to look through, after a moment he closes it. He walks over to the bed rubbing the back of his neck, saying "I don't see anything, maybe a bird flew into the house... " he pauses to yawn, "The suns about to come out tho." He climbs back in the bed and I ask "was that all you heard?... You didn't hear anything before the thud?" He rolls over facing me and wraps his around my waist pulling me flush against him; "nope". I place my hand on his "If the suns about to come up shouldn't we be getting up?" He presses his face into my neck "I just want to stay like this a little longer..." I didn't comment or respond, I can only imagine what he's feeling.


End file.
